Near and Dear To Me.

THE call (s)

2011-06-10T12:28:00.001-07:00

Just in case you were wondering...
I received the beautiful white envelope from the presidency of the Church. Twice. Here is my official call, number 2. I can't tell you how excited I am to serve the Lord and learn more then most about the history of the church. I'll be frozen but I know I'm going to love Nebraska and the people there. My first call was Spanish speaking, which I've dreamed about for years now but Nebraskan may be just as challenging and I know with Heavenly Father's help, I can do ANYTHING.
Have questions about church history? Ask me in 6 months.
Sent from my iPhone

Happy Trails To You.

2011-05-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I've ever said how much I love running...

Oh wait, I have 29 bajillion times. Well, this is another one of those.

The other day I was running here:

(Lake Hodges)

I'd never run around Hodges before so when a friend of mine suggested it, I jumped at the opportunity. The mountain was rough but the view at the top was worth it (Kind of like life huh?). After making through tough spots and even a minor fall, I was able to take in the gorgeous scenery. Running is already something I love to do and when you add in pretty things to look at, it's like Christmas to me.

About that "minor fall." I've grown accustomed to running and talking: 1) it teaches you manage your breathing and 2) it keeps your mind somewhere else. While run

ning on this particular day, talking was key as I didn't know the trails very well and needed a distraction from my anticipating thoughts (I try to gauge how much farther and how much energy I'm going to need, where I'll need to seed up, slow down, exc.). I don't remember what the conversation was about but Adrian and I were talking about something I was interested in because I was very focused. Out of no where he yells,"A BIRD!!!!" Was I expecting this? Heavens no. Did I take my eyes off the trail? Yes. Unsure what the hype was about I looked up, which happened to be the exact time that the ground I was running on decided to dip. Quickly looking down I tried to correct my footsteps but it didn't work. My toes caught the edge of something and I came down on my right knee and hand. Not thinking much of it I just kep

t running, knowing that if I looked down and saw anything wrong I would be too discouraged to keep going up the mountain. There was a slight sting as I ran but nothing I couldn't work through.

Like I said, arriving at the top of the mountain was so beautiful. It helped me be brave enough to look down, at my knee that is. With blood streaming down my leg (I'll spare you the details), I was surprised it didn't hurt more but grateful I didn't take a peak before that very moment. Now all I had to do was run back to where we started and I could wash off my battle wound. The down hill run was nice, the sun and breeze made me feel so alive!! Alive is a good feeling.

Adrian and I had met at the gym, Chuze fitness, so when we finished the run we drove back there. Right when we got to the gym I jumped in the shower to try and rins

e off my knee and see what kind of real damage I had done, this was a sad attempt though because I was so sick to my stomach to even look at it. Luckily Adrian and brother Christian were there to help me out. I cringed while they cleaned and dressed my poor little knee. Without them i don't know what I would've done or what kind of infection I would have now ha.

My knee is now trying to heal and doing a very good job at looking HIDEOUS.

The show must go on though. I ran there again yesterday and I think I will be there more often, it's gorgeous. If you ever feel so inclined, call me and I'll run/walk/jog/whatever you can, with you! I LOVE IT and you should too!

Too Much of a Good Thing?

2011-05-03T06:44:00.001-07:00

As you all know, recently I have fallen in love. Every day I wake up excited and my heart pounds a little faster as I remember I have something to look forward to. I never thought that this would happen to me. That I would feel the way I do. But... it's happened and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm in too deep. Carrots mean everything to me and are easily complimented with salsa, peanut butter, or even cottage cheese. How could anyone not be in love with these little veggies? They've been good to me but I think I have to to cut back, they're trying to rub off on me.

The other day I was sitting with Taylor and as she glanced down at my hands she did a double-take. I didn't know what she was looking at but them I did the same thing. My hands are turning orange! Cool? Maybe a little because I didn't think that it was a real occurrence, but I must admit that when it's you who's turning orange, it's not that cool. It looks a bit like I've used self-tanner, very poorly.

Long Day?

2011-04-29T09:29:00.001-07:00

Morning after the Royal Wedding. Taylor, Delaney, and I stayed up with all the other crazies of the world to witness the Royal Wedding. We spent the night with the Grimshaw family (Jesse and Tucker) laughing and having some good bonding time.

One of the highlights of the night was looking up to see Kathy Grimshaw dressed for the occasion. I laying on the ground when I hear Kathy come into the room. Right after she walked in Delaney started laughing. In my mind I was thinking it was rude that she was laughing at Kathy but then I looked to see what was going on as everyone else started joining in. She has on a wide-brimmed hat, ready to watch the royal wedding.

Waiting For The Call

2011-04-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

My mission papers will be sent to Salt Lake tomorrow and I couldn't be happier to say that I will be serving the Lord for 18 months! Where will I go? It's a mystery but no matter what location, I know I will be where my Father in Heaven needs me to be. Each missionary is set apart to serve people of a specific area, an area where people need to hear from them. There will be hard days and times when I won't be the most comfortable. There will be times when home sounds like s WAY better choice. No matter what arises I have to remember that my testimony and my knowledge of the gospel makes it worth it. Because I know that my Heavenly Father lives, that He sent His son to die for me, that Joseph Smith restored the gospel, and I will return to live with my Heavenly Father again; no trial is too big and no day will be too hard. Joseph Smith stated in the Doctrine and Covenants that trials had become second nature to him. What an amazing statement, he endured more then I could even begin to imagine. I hope to serve valiantly looking to my Savior and Joseph Smith as examples.

For now.... We wait.

Love.

2011-04-26T22:10:00.001-07:00

I look up to these two. They're such a good example to me. One day I hope to share my days, nights, moments, and memories with someone who loves me as much as they love eachother. I have such amazing sisters, I'm one lucky girl.

Snack for love.

2011-04-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a good snack and feeling a little adventurous.

Carrots and peanut butter. The secret is. BIG carrots and organic, unsalted, crunchy peanut butter. Do it!

Race Day.

2011-04-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago I ran my first rave EVER and loved it! I was privileged to drive to Hemet with the beautiful Ashley, surrounded by cars filled with Kristy Krueger and her running crew. They were a blast and I was happy to share my first race experience with them.

Starting out the race I set a goal to pace myself with one of the women in Kristy's running group, Stephanie (whom is a personal trainer and an overall rock). Though I set this as a goal I didn't think it would happen, she's done a few races before and has been training longer then I have. Nonetheless, I went out with her and just tried to keep up. She mentioned to me that she wasn't going to be starting at a fast pace but that she would pick it up at the turn around, the second leg of the race. About 3 miles in she yelled to me, over the music playing through both our headphones, that we had gone out at a quicker pace then she anticipated. Originally she said we would start at a 10 minute mile, we went out at a 7:45. Luckily we were able to keep up the tempo and at the turn around I was feeling really good. My last three miles I "took off" and caught up with some fellow runners ahead of me, a man and women in particular seemed to be good competition. After pushing myself to keep up with them we made it to the end. Crossing the finish line was so rewarding! I finished a minute ahead of Stephanie but I know I wouldn't have been able to do it without her motivation!

My stats: 2nd in my division, 8th in women, and 23rd overall. My time 1:45.

P.S. I started out the race in a cami with a thermal over it, shorts, and gloves. I ended the race with my no gloves, my thermal tied around my waist, and, don't judge me, my cami pulled up.

Fun at Work

2011-04-08T13:46:00.001-07:00

Work is much more exciting when you sit on an exercise ball. I recommend it. For the past few months its given me much entertainment. I think Calee has enjoyed watching me make a fool of myself at times as well.

March 22, 2011

2011-04-06T23:58:00.001-07:00

... was a beautiful Tuesday. I went to work and was able to motivate myself to get lots of stuff done in the morning, which is usually not the case. I tendto save my little tasks for the afternoon to make the time go by faster. On this particular day, I didn't wait. Because I was on a roll I waited to my lunch until later in the afternoon, 2ish to be more specific. Lunch usually means I go to my Grandma's house (Side Note: She is so good to me and buys food that I like because she knows I come to her house almost everyday at lunch time, even though she's not there). I don't remember what weird combination of foods I threw together on this day but I know it was good :)

After finishing my food and cleaning up I headed back to

work, jumping on the 15 going south bound. Listening t

o Pandora, thinking of how excited I was that I only had an hour and some odd minutes left at work, something unexpected occurred. In the middle of the freeway lay some obstacles, mattresses to be exact. How on earth did they get there? I don' t know but they put a small damper on my productive, smooth sailing day. The car in front of me swerved to miss the first mattress. Thinking I would just avoid the situation, I indicated left and switched into the fast lane. I avoided nothing though.. The car had to swerve again to miss the second mattress, only this time I was to the left of them and had to figure out a way to avoid being hit as they dodged the mattress. Having no where to go, as the center divide was directly to my left, I tried to "dance" with the car, swerve as they did. My third swe

rve did me in, I lost control. This sent me spinning clockwise toward the middle of the freeway. My came to a halt in the 3/4 lane facing oncoming traffic. Lucky me I got to go head to head with a big-rig. Somehow my car ended up back on t

he left hand side of the freeway, on the shoulder t

his time, out of harms way.

It took me a moment or so to grasp what happened and all I remember thinking was that my arm was stinging from when the airbag deployed. I sat there not moving for a few moments and then decided it would be a good thing to call my dad. He calmed me down and assured me he was coming right away. Without him I don't know what I would've done, he came to my rescue. I tried to convince him that I needed to go back to

work but he disagreed and drove me straight home.

With just a few aches and bruises I walked away from an accident that could've, and should've, been fatal. In any other car, I would've been squashed like a bug. Thanks to the Tahoe I have my life. I take that back, thanks to my Father in Heaven who ma

de it so I was driving a tank, the airbag deployed, and my body was positioned in a way that I didn't get hurt.

Snow Adventures.

2011-03-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

The start of 2011 brought some changes in the life of Ashlynd. I not only started working full time but I decided to transfer my records from the singles ward into my home ward. It gave me the opportunity to go to church with my family and also put the social aspects of church aside for a time. I've enjoyed it, though I've gone back to visit the P-mar crowd often, after attending my own ward. The funny thing is, outside of church, I'm more social now. I've met some amazing people and have been able to expand my circle of friends. I love it. Through these new friendships I've met even more people, learned to love the gospel more and more, and have been able to go on some fun adventures.

Alan: the first of my amazing new friends who introduced me to Tucker and Jesse

Tucker

Jesse

Tucker hanging out on the mountain.

Me and my favorite little girl ever.

For a while I was feeling a bit bummed because I hadn't been snowboarding or surfing in a while but my "luck" changed and I found people to do both with! Before last month, I had only been to Mountain High for snowboarding but I have since been able to broaden my horizons. I've now been to Bear twice! Snowboarding is my new love and I'm actually getting it down, it's exciting!

Me & Sage: Car ride from Bear to Snow Summit (We're too cool to take our goggles off )

Alan: This picture was sent to Jesse, in the sweetest way possible, telling him that he was missing out.

Me, Alan, & Sage: It snowed ALL day at Bear!

Alan & I: Mountain High again.

An Exciting Call

2011-03-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

Watching Taylor open her call was a fun experience. I'm so excited for her to serve in the Lubbock, texas mission. Without a doubt I know that, that is where she is supposed to be and that the people of Texas are going to need her. She's going to bless so many lives and, not to mention, she's going to be a great missionary. I look up to her for all that she does and the person that she is. She is the first to go from our family and I couldn't be more proud. The standard that Taylor will set is going to be a high one, I know it. I'm happy I get to follow in her footsteps on this one.

Bueno semana

2010-10-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

For starters this weekend has been amazing. I love conference, it melts my heart. A few weeks ago my bishop asked the ward to prepare ourselves to hear the words of the general authorities. What great advice. I feel as though, because I prepared, I was able to get so much more out of conference, that they were all speaking to me. Knowing that the Lord can speak to us through Prophets and apostles is such a comforting feeling. My heart is so full. If wewould only listen a little closer and try a little better to stand a little taller, life would be a little easier. Heavenly Father wants to bless us, we have to let him.

This Past Week.

Was hot. I got in my car on my lunch break Monday and look what I found.

On Thursday night I skipped my last to classes to head up to Huntington Beach with my dad, grandma Lyla, Kara, Alexa, and Delaney. The purpose for us doing so you may ask; to see Whitney and Brad! Brad had a business conference and brought Whitney along with him. It had been way to long since I saw them last and I enjoyed spending time with them. We all went out to dinner, got gelatti (?), and walked around for a bit.

(Daddy-o, Kara, Dean, Alexa, me, Whitney, and Grammy)

Friday night I had the privilege of going to dinner with an old friend, William Bradler. We dated in high school, oh the good old days, it just didn't work out but we've been able to stay friends over the years. He's a good kid, I know if I ever needed anything I could call on him no doubt. After picking me up, he took me to a little sushi place in Carlsbad, the food was amazing of course. Also, I would have to say that he company was amazing, our meeting was long overdue. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures to capture the evening. Just know that I had lots of fun, he makes me feel like a little 16 year old again (which was so long ago haha, I'm giving myself the right to say that though, as I am now 20 years of age).

Saturday night, after work, I went to the gym, got ready there, and then headed over to the stake center to meet some friends after the preisthood session. In celebration of Kyle Moores life, as it was his birthday, we went to a mexican food restaurant in San Diego by the name of Lucha Libre. The restaurant is pretty cool, all the paintings and decorations have luchador masks on.

Today, the day of the sabbath, I went to the Morasco's to watch conference.

As I stated before, I loved it all and I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to listen to the words of my Father in Heaven. Apparently watching conference is tiring, Alan and Jared couldn't take the stress of it all and had to nap in between sessions :) To be honest, I was asleep 10 minutes later.

Dreams of Late.

2010-09-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago I had a dream I RAN to Tokyo, adventuring through all sorts of labyrinths and boarder patrols. Then last night I had a few crazy dreams as well. One was in Spanish and I couldn't even tell you what happened or what was said. All I know is, waking up to go to the bathroom I was thinking things, well the words that I know, in Spanish and it was odd. Also I dreamt that Delaney wanted me to take her school WAY too early in the morning! Again, I couldn't even tell you why or what for, but she was adamant about getting there as soon as she could after our morning scripture study.

Along the lines of running, I really want to get new running shoes, the ones below specifically. Last week I ran 33 miles! As I've said before, I love running and it's becoming a big part of my life, week-to-week I find I can run more and more. Towards the beginning of he summer I found that I ran better outside, for some reason the treadmill was just too hard. Now, I run 6 miles on the treadmill and I've been able to push myself faster and faster, little by little. So needless to say, I think I'm earning the new shoes, or justifying them ha. We shall see if I actually go through with getting new ones, I'm not very good at buying things.

Art and Soul.

2010-09-22T23:21:00.001-07:00

I Absolutely Love My Scriptures, they warm my soul and bring so much joy to my life! Right now I'm taking an art class, which I thought would be a breeze but it's turning out to be one of the classes I am struggling with. Projects must be done quicker in this class then ever before and I always want my work to turn out the absolute best it can be, but I feel like the time crunch causes me to fall short. I will get there soon and learn to balance my time though. Until then, I'm keeping the faith and relying on something that I know will always be there for me at the end of the day.

These are from a value project I'm currently working on. More to come when I actually finish :) Which SHOULD be tomorrow.

PIctures of me.

2010-09-21T06:31:00.001-07:00

It's been a while but I have a new method of getting my day to day life on here. Pictures. I will start with yesterday 20 September 2010. I had to send out notices in the morning at work so needless to say I looked a little scraggly (?) but it was okay because I got to leave early! The candle that sits next to me on my desk smells of fall and yummy stuff but it was doing come funky things...

Only in America

2010-07-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful 4th of July. I'm so thankful for the country that I live in. It's amazing to me all of the privilages we enjoy that we don't even see as such. As July 4th fell on a Sunday, the first Sunday of the month, it was fast and testimony meeting. One testimony in particular really struck me. A boy I've known for quite some time got up and spoke of how he knows that God's hand was in the Declaration of Independance and the writing of the Constitution, that without the early leaders of our country we would not have the blessing of the gospel in our homes today. Because we are a free country, we enjoy the gospel. It touched me so grately that we really are so very blessed to lives where we fo and that God's hand is in ALL things. I'm so thankful that the presidents and leaders of this country decided to act the they did, without them I would not know all that I do. I love the feeling I get when I think of our history now, it makes me want to learn more! After heaving such a touching experience or enlightenment in church, every patriotic song or piture really pulled on my heart strings. Songs and quotes that I've heard over and over again and never felt anything towards, made me tear up. These two in particular.

Only in America

dreaming in red, white and blue

only in America

where we dream as big as we want to

we all get a chance

everybody gets to dance

only in America

God bless America,

land that I love

stand beside her, and quide her

though the night, with a light from above.

from the mountains, to the prairies,

to the oceans, white with foam.

God bless America, MY home sweet home.

-I never thought of this song as a prayer and now that I do, it feels so much more sacred.

Drum Roll Please..

2010-07-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a months leave. So sorry, I've been adventuring and finding out more about myself. It's been fun but I must share some things with you all.

New Friends:
In May a special young lady came into my life. Her name you ask, Rochelle. She is Jeremy Rios' cousin, here from Utah on a little adventure of her own. When she first got here I was excited to get to know her, as I had heard a lot about her from Germ. Soon after her arrival I went out to lunch with her at Sushi Station and the fun hasn't stopped since. She's been such a good friend to me and I don't know what I would do without her these days. We watch lots of movies together, FroYo Love it up, jacuzzi and, now, attend many missionary discussions for Jessica, a story which will be expounded upon later. She's only here a short time, which makes me sad, but I am so glad that I have this opportunity to have her in my life right now.

Rochelle and I at Jeremy's farewell.

Missionary News:

I've been attending mission prep and can't even begin to express how much love I have for the gospel. I can't wait to be able to share it with the people of where ever I go! Preach My Gospel is an amazing book and I'm enjoying reading it very much. We do fun, nerve wrecking, activities in mission prep and every time I leave I feel like I am more confident in sharing the message of the restored gospel! I really hope this fire doesn't go away.
As for that boy I speak of often, he left last week to embark on an amazing experience. I'm jealous and sad, yet so very excited for him. He will be, and already is, and amazing missionary. Again, I'm so grateful for the time I got to spend with him and the example he was to me. Just in case anyone was wondering, there are good guys out there! Elder Rios is proof of such things. I would write a long tribute to him but I think I've done that enough. Needless to say, he's wonderful and I will be keeping everyone updated as I hear from him.

Elder Rios and I at the airport. He had already been set apart, hence the sir hug :)

Jillene, Germ, Rochelle and I the night he was set apart

Often I hear from Tyler Wells, his letters make my week. He's doing so well and I feel like he is really learning who he is. Another friendly face sent me a letter this past week; Bro Butler, the sweet boy from choir. He too is doing really well and enjoying his journey on a mission! The work is going forth and my friends and loved ones are helping to carry it out. So cool.

Exciting News:

Where to start? My sophmore year? I don't even know. There is a wonderful girl name Jessica Gill who has been a friend of mine for quite some time. I've always shared the gospel with her and have tried to get her to come to activities and church with me. It's finally paying off! Right now we have some amazing missionaries serving in the singles ward. I had brought Jessica to church with me and at linger longer the elders approached me and started asking questions about this friend of mine. They felt impressed to ask if she would be interested in taking the discussions. I had talked to Jessica about this before but I wasn't' sure if her reluctance still stood so I told them I would give it a shot. Later that day I asked her. As I had asked her before, I kind of just expected her to say no and then we would move on but to my surprise, she said yes! Soon after, we had the missionaries over to my house and a discussion was held. It's been well over a month, she's had many discussions since and now has a baptism date of July 24th!! I can't even believe it! She likes what she's hearing and it makes sense to her, as I always thought it would. I remember my junior year thinking to myself that she would be "Mormon" one day. Here we are, years later, we're still friends and it's all falling into place. I'm so proud of her and I'm thankful that I have been able to be a part of her discussions, it helps solidify my testimony even more. Her family is not the most supportive of her decision,which is making it hard, but she is toughing it out and knows that the Lord will provide a way. She hangs out with Rochelle and I lots and we get to talk about the gospel always, it's so fun! I love being able to answer questions and learn with her sometimes. What a great blessing.

Fun times in Rochelle's car

So Many Options.

2010-05-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

Or really there are two and I should just make a decision already. I've been debating for forever now whether or not I should change my hair. I hate to admit it but I haven't cut or colored it since January :/ Crazy I know. Back in the day I use to color my hair every 6 weeks, and you best believe it was different every time. The dilemma is; I really want my hair to be lighter buuut I want it grow longer and coloring it with stunt it's growth. I've been looking through pictures and honestly, it's hard. I wish I could color it and have it grow heathy and long.. fast. I ask people what they think but I never really get a solid response, no one likes to tell me what they think. Lame.

Inspiration and Randomness.

2010-05-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you know who Stephanie Nielsen is but let me just make mention that she is one of the most amazing people I have ever heard of. Her strength is an inspiration to me and I can't even begin to tell you how much I look up to the mother and wife she is. The church actually put out a Mormon Messages video of her, which I recommend you ALL watch as soon as possible.

School is now offically over! My finals went well and I'm fairly pleased with my marks. On my final exam for World religions there were quite a few questions of opinion and I absolutely loved it. Not only did it make it easy to get things right haha, but I got to share my testimony. The questinos were that of how I share my happiness with the world and things along the lines of, "What determines happiness in my life." As I filled in the last few questions I teared up, I felt the spirit in that classroom as I wrote down my testimony of the beautiful Gospel.

I'm excited to take a little break from school for summer, though I've added something else to my schedule in place of class. Last week I took on a part-time nanny job, which should keep me busy this summer, I'm hoping. His name is Tobyn and what he says goes. My job is to play with him and make sure he's happy. I was worried that he would be all too much for me to handle but now that I have been able to spend time with him I'm seeing that he is actually a very sweet boy. We play lots of games and I hear the craziest stories when I'm with him. So far, I'm liking it a lot! They, the Jacbos, live in a nice home and they are very nice people. My first day on the job consisted of a buble war, sand castle building, piggy bank coutning, wii games and nerf gun wars. Tobyn will definitley be keeping me in shape.

Speaking of shape, good or bad.. I've been running outside lots these days and loving it! Just me, my Ipod and the road (or sidewalk and the bazillion people I try to ignore). I find I can run further now and that I like it more. Thinking is so much easier when I'm on my own and I love being able feel the wind on my face.

Stinky...

2010-05-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

or... A blessing in disguies?

I was going to write in my last "post" that I voted Saturday to be one of the worst days ever to happen. As you can see, I didn't get to finsih or even start that blog and, now that i think about it, I renig that thought.
On Saturday I had to say goodbye to my precious Annie, which was hard but I know that she is going to go off and do amazing things with her life, I am so proud of her, I wish I would be so adventurous. We had stayed up all night at Taylor/ Jeremy's birthday party, took an hour nap and then got up at 4 a.m. to head out for the airport. We made good time, no traffic, no problems; it was lovely. Then we had to part from one another. Again, it was hard but I know that she is off to change the world and I am determined to see her again.
The problems came as I was leaving the airport. Unfortunately I was stranded at the airport until someone could come get me. While enduring what was going on I forgot to look at the positive. Someone wonderful came to my rescue. I got to spend a couple hours in the car with my papa, talking religion and politics, what more could I ask for? It's not every day I sit down and talk about these things with my dad one on one, I love his insights. Thanks dad!
Yes, Saturday was not ideal but I am going to have to lean towards the blessing in disguies aspect. I got to remember that my dad loves me no matter what, that he's very smart, that he has a love and deep knowlegde of the Gospel and that he's willing to give up his Saturday morning to drive in a car for many hours, for me.

Driving is a wonderful privilage and I never thought I would be so thankful for the ability I have to do so.

I Vote.

2010-05-15T15:03:00.001-07:00

Annie

2010-05-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

is the best! Have I mentioned that I am so glad she's here. This week has been a bummer because of school and work, I can't see her as much but when I do she cracks me up. Her and Taylor are new besties and for that I am so thankful. Whenever we ask Annie to immitate an American accent she always says, "Yea, like, totally!" I mentioned the other day that whenever people would ask me to immitate them in Australia I would always tell them to try my accent, and that's what they would say. When Annie heard this she told me that that is what she thinks of when she thinks of Americans. So now this is the running joke and we say it to just about everything, because it just seems to go with everything ha. "Yea, like, totally." A new found joy of Annie's is FroYo, she knows how to go big! I will have to get a picture of her yogurts the past two nights. Can you say HUGE? She fits right in, minus the being tall and gorgeous part ha.

P.S. We got a kitty this past weekend. No name for it yet but I absolutely love it! Baby kitty is a precious new addition to the Wilson home :)

You Take The Good, You Take The bad.

2010-05-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

As I have stated before, school is coming to a close. This, my friends, is a good thing. But I did find out some sad news. My favorite institute teachers are leaving the San Marcos campus :( In all honesty, I cried when I heard that Brother Decker was being "transferred" to an insitute further north, he and Brother Bunnell are so amazing and I have learned so much from them. I know that life will go on but I think I am allowed to be saddened by the news, right? In class this semester I feel like we have really been able to dive into the New Testament and I have loved every minute of it. There is something so amazing when it comes to learning about the scriptures, I just can't get enough, especially when you are able to look deeply into them. SO many lessons to be learned and truths to be told. I'm so thankful for my wonderful institute teachers and all they teach me. I truly feel like they have helped me become and stronger, better me. Their dedication and love for the Gospel is admirable. I wish I could have a job as sweet and rewarding as they do, that would be a dream come true.

Also, as I have stated, Annie has been here and I have been enjoying our time together. Our adventures and time has not run out just yet so I will have to wait to tell of all our outings but I wanted to give her a little shout out :) She is so sweet and I can't even begin to say how thankful I am that she was able to come stay with me.

It's-a-workin.

2010-05-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

I've now lost 18-20 lbs, I'm not exactly sure. My scale likes to change things up on me everytime I step onto it, we're not friends. This whole experience has been good for me, proving that I can acomplish things I set my mind to. I would have to echo again what I wrote last blog, I have my really good days and then my really bad ones. Satan is good at making me believe I'm not good enough, that I need to loose more and "be better." I'm learning to deal with it though and recognize when it's his influence instead of my own. My body is quite amazing and it has allowed me to do so many things, I'm grateful for it and I think I should be happy with it more often.

Everybody ought to have a body

A body is the only way to go

Everybody ought to have a body

Having a body really helps ya to grow!

Bodies really are wonderful things, such beautiful creations given us from our Father in Heaven. When we think of it that way, why on Earth would we not want to take care of it? The answer is not a simple one, though it should be. I hope that I can remember this, that I will be able to keep myself healthy because I really do cherish what I have been given and I'm so very thankful that I was given a body to run, swim, board, walk and play in. It's one thing that no one can take away from me, one thing I can control.

School is coming to an end and I could not be more excited! Time to sit for just a moment will be lovely. Second job? Maybe. I think I should try and pick one up for summer, seeing that I AM trying to save for a mission and the events of this week have not helped me with that, though I have enjoyed myself more then I can express. I haven't told you all but my friend Annie Thallon is here, RIGHT NOW, AT MY HOUSE! She's been doing ski instructing courses in Canada and decided that she would come and stay with me on her way home. I have thoroughly enjoyed having in our home, I'm thankful that I have been able to spend time with her and show her a little bit of where I am from :) We've been to six flags, the wild animal park (where we did the zip-line), the movies, the jacuzzie, a cinco de mayo fiesta and she even came to my criminal justice class with me; Lucky her we watched a movie on Pelacan Bay Prison, which was pretty intense. She's a joy to be around and I hope she knows how much fun I'm having. It's been hard with work and school to be a good host but I'm just so blessed and Heavenly Father really has carried me.

Events of this weekend, thus far, have almost made me a crazy person. Let me just say that the Lord will not give you what you want until you are ready; UNLESS you are a begger. Don't be a begger, in doing so we get what we want, but it's when we can't handle it. Such things I have learned from experience and take it from me, it's not too fun. Luckily I have wonderful friends and so much support in my life to get me through. It's amazing.

P.S. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Spanish? It's so fun to learn new words. I never realized how many random Spanish words and phrases I use until Annie came and she has NO idea what I'm talking about. It cracks me up, yet amazes me.

Interesting.

2010-04-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

Diet Update.
I'm now 13 lbs down. It's great to think that I am progressing, even though I still look in the mirror and wonder where the heck the weight is coming from?!? oddd. To be honest I think it's coming from my legs, that seems to be where my pants are becoming loose these days, and I wish that nonsense would stop, I don't have a bum as it is! But even still, weight is weight and I will allow it to be shed however it likes.

More to come when I'm not at work shirking my duties. My bad.

The Diet.

2010-04-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

is treating me well thus far. I've lost 10 pounds! It's interesting to me that I step on the scale and think "saweeet" and then I look in the mirror and don't notice one difference. Weird how that works. My new best friends, food wise, have become apples, broccli and egg-whites (with tomatoe paste) and, no, not all together. It's nice to recognize more the things I am putting in my mouth and to be able to check how much. As I think about it I would have to say that I got to the weight I'm at not by eating bad foods, but by eating too much. I'm grateful for this opportunity to recognize such things and I really hope these lessons stick with me.

I love the gym, though I can't work out too hard. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have any sort of drive to work out. It's so relaxing, in a strange way, to be able to go and do something for yourself, by yourself. If you need alone time, I would suggest a nice to trip to the gym or a walk outside, it always makes me feel better.

I got to go snowboarding, yet again, yesterday! SO fun! This time I went with Delaney, Jermey and his friend, Parker. I accomplished one of my goals, actually cetching air on a jump and let me tell you, I was so proud of myself. I'll be honest, I'm a chicken or something. I love going fast and having fun but when it comes to snowboarding I can't let loose enough, I tend to put the brakes on whenever I start getting the hang of things. Next season will be a blast though, I can sense it, there will be no more scaredy-cat here. I plan on getting a season pass to Moutnain High and going as much as my schedule will allow. Snowboarding is my new favorite hobby, even though it gives me funny face tans and makes my legs burn ha. And let me tell you, this Jermey kid I speak of, whom I'm not sure if I've talked about before, is my favorite person right now. He'll be leaving on his mission to Argentina at the end of June, he's one of the sweetest people I know and he laughs at my silliness. What more could you ask for in a new favorite person? Nothing.

Collin and Kyle are home for summer! When I didn't think it could, life just got even better :)

The Binge.

2010-04-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

was beautiful and yet hard suprisingly. I don't like eating bad things one after the other, after the other; it made me feel so very yucky. I wanted to eat everything I don't like to eat due to the feeling it gives me after. I suceeded with many but mostly I just ate lots of whatever I was eating. My first day was a sorry excuse of a binge but I did well my second day. If I could do it over again, I don't know if I would do anything different, except for one thing... I would eat pizza! I'm bummed I didn't even have one slice. Maybe next time? Oh wait.... there won't be a next time.

What's In The Middle?

2010-04-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

The White Stuff!!

Dear Those Who Care To Know,

This coming week is going to be an interesting one, I can already sense it. I wasn't sure if I was going to blog about this, but I guess it's going to be a big part of my life for a while so I should just get it out in the open. On Monday Alexa, Taylor, Erynne and I are all starting the HGC diet. I'm a little embarrassed for some reason but at the same time I think it's good that people know so they can hold you to more things, or at least try and tempt us less with beautiful foods. For a while I have been tyring different work outs and appraoches to eating but nothing really makes me feel better or has helped me to loose any weight. I know I don't need to loose a bunch of weight especially to get people to, or boys rather, like me but I just want to be comfortable being me. It's going to take some mind alterations as well as this little/big diet but I think it's highly attainable. I'm excited to have supporters and I think it will make things a tad easier to know that there are others going through the exact same thing as me. I will be successful. I will carry this out. It's time to stop procrastinating, which I do with everything else in life. I'm thinking that once I start this I am going to have to fill my time with other things, besides eating, and it will also help me get more things done. I'm excited, yet nervous. Excited because the first two days you're supposed to eat anything and everything you want and see; but the nervousness will settle in right after that, when I am cut to 500 calories a day. We can do it though!

I've been thinking of some things I want to eat on Monday and Tuesday, things I haven't had in a long time...

a peanut butter crunch blizzard from Dairy Queen

Ben & Jerrys of all varities

french fries from in & out

garlic bread

nachos

midnight milkyway

sourcream and union chips
peppermint patties
pizza

oreos with peanut butter

mmmmm... and I'm sure I will be able to think of more :)

As far as the rest of my life is concerned, things are going well. I am still just going to school and working. I've been trying to stay on top of my homework and studying, it's working, with the exception of math. I dred going to my math class, I'm just not good at it or something and it really frustrates me! The fact that my teacher should really be named Professor SillyWeirdoThatWearsTheSameThingEveryday doesn't make me like the class any more.

As we all know, last weekend was General Confrence. I absolutely loved it! It's amazing to know that we have a prophet and apostles on the Earth today, what a wonderful thing. On Sunday I could not get over the fact that all of the talks seemed so uniform, yet they aren't even given topics. Everything fits together like a puzzle. We were advised and directed on how to better our families, relationship wise and spiritually speaking. When I have my own family one day I hope to use the name of the Savior always and to teach my children the importance of the Gospel. In my life I recognize that everything I have is from my Father in Heaven, it's incredible all the many things he has blessed me with. The Gospel is wonderful and there is so much to it, I'm grateful I can continue to grow and learn daily.

Want to know what I wish?

I'll tell you.. I wish that I could go on a mission right now, before any distraction in the form of a boy comes along. I wish I could go to Spain and study abroad this summer, it's a dream of mine that I sure hope comes true one day. I wish I could fly, wouldn't it be so cool, like they do on Peter Pan! I wish I could go snowboarding this week. & I wish that Bones would be nicer to Booth, they are perfect for eachother, she's obviously just having some kind of vision imparement right now, there's no other explaination. Maybe I should write her a letter and tell her how silly she's being? If only it were real.... if I only I wasn't so obessed with a tv show.

This is a very jumbled mess of a blog entry. I apologize.

I know you'll forgive me and I'm thankful for that.

As for a spiritual thought of mine:

Put on the whole armor of God. Use your scriptures as a weapon to fight against evil, not just to resist it. I was talking with a friend last night and she made a point that really helped me. She simply said, "just keep doing what's right." As we do what we know we should, things will work out. It doesn't make the waiting any easier but it sure does make it worth it in the end.

P.S. I just went to the new BJ's by the mall, it's quite delicious and I recommend it to you all!

What A Weekend

2010-03-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was Ahhh-Maaayy-Zing!

Friday:

I worked all day and then hurried home to get ready and practice a song Alexa and I were going to sing at a baptism. We had a song all picked out, lyrics printed and parts down. After going through it a few times Alexa just didn't feel right about it and she suggested "Live Like You Believe." I gave not a moments thought and agreed it would be a good one, better then the one I had chosen. Our friend Danica was getting baptised and "Live Like You Believe" just seemed to fit. She is an amazing young woman and I am so thankful I had the oportunity to sing at her baptism. I have a feeling that girl will do great things and it's hard to express just how much she loves the gospel. Never have I been to a baptism where the spirit has been so strong, it was so wonderful. Being in that room helped me to really understand that people change and that there are many people out there just waiting for the gospel to come into their lives, or to find it. Danica is such a sweet girl and she just glows with the love of our Father in Heaven. Every step she has taken to get her closer to being a member of the church she really has shouted for joy. Anyone who sees her will know that this a decision that she will honor and be so greatful for for the rest of her life. It's a blessing to see someone love it and embrace like she has.

(Danica and the Elders)

Saturday:

Again, I worked. Then straight from work I went to the Bobier building in Vista. I got there almost two hours early, yet I still was waiting in a line to get in, so cool (not the line, but the fact that people were so excited to be there). Then when they let us in I was able to get very good seats, thanks to Bishop Shaffer for saving the row ahead of time, though I was one of the first ones in. Me saving seats turned out to be a little bit of drama but it worked out in the end. As it came closer and closer to 7 people started to quiet down and when L. Tom Perry and his "possy" entered the room every one stood and was silent. The talks given by Elder Pearson and Perry were incredible! I felt the spirit so strongly and recognized some things in my life that I could change or strengthen. Elder Perry is so funny and I'm so thankful that I got the chance to sit three rows away from an apostle. It was such a cool experience, one I will never forget.

Sunday:

("Stronger Together" Chior)

I didn't work!! But I did have to sing in two different wards with our chior. It was good though. The first ward we sang in had a good speaker. The first high council man got up and I wasn't exactly sure what as going on in his talk, I felt bad but it was odd. Then Bro Bulter, Brock's dad, spoke and it was very good. The second ward was good as well. Our song went really well, "In This Very Room" and the speakers were great, namely the second one. I can't remember the mans last name but I do know that his first name was Al. He had us do a lot of reflecting on ourselves, told us to ask ourselves if we were present or absent when we went to church. The example he used was touching. The Butler's lost their daughter, sister, and friend recently to cancer. Her name was Michelle. Al's wife was Michelle's seminary teacher and when she had heard the news she called her husband to tell him, as he was out of town. Al said that he answered his phone in the middle of a parking lot and where he stood, he stopped and cried. Days after Michelle had passed Al's wife, the seminary teacher, had a profound thought," The church makes accurate records and every day that Michelle has spent sick and/or in the hospital, she has been marked absent, but yesterday she was there, I could feel her presence in the room ." Then again, he asked us if we were present or absent. Al aslo suggested that we look in the mirror and ask ourselves the hard questions. Look into our own eyes and try to lie to the person staring back at us. This hit home to me. Sometimes it's easy to lie to ourselves and say that we're doing what we should, all we can, but it's hard lie when you're looking in your own eyes.

I enjoyed his talk so much! It was the perfect way to end my weekend and the perfect way to start a new one. At the beginning of this week I'm going to try and focus on good health and scripture study. There's no better day to start then today!!

[Brock with all us girls :)]

P.S. I don't know why, but I never really feel like blogging until I start and then I remember why I like it so much.

One cool quote from Elder Pearson you might like, "you get what you focus on continualy."

So true.

Oh The Weather Outside Is....

2010-03-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Frightful.

And when I say "frightful" I mean beautiful. San Diego could not be nicer with it's weather right now, let's hope it sticks around until late next week, that way spring break will be wonderful. Yesterday I had such a nice day. I went to school, took a mid-term and went to institute, then I went to my grandmas for a while. At my grandmas we went across the street and sat at her pool while talking, that way we were able to multi-task, tan and talk :) Then after I had had enough of that I went on a nice run in the sun, which was so nice. I love being outdoors, it makes life so much happier! After my run I went to the gym for some stairs and weights and then went home to get ready for more school. My spanish class went very well. I had to give a presentation, which ended up just being a conversation between a girl in my class and I about our families, in spanish of course. THEN, my teacher let us take back our tests that we did last class and correct anything we wanted using our notes! How awesome is that!?! I don't know why she was feeling so generous but it sure made my day so much brighter. It doesn't end there though. When class was through I met Taylor and Kara at Costco and us three went to O'side to attend a little farewell jam sesh for our friend and chior mate, Brock. I believe it was a good time had by all. Brock is such a cute (amazingly beautiful human being) kid and I know he will make a wonderful missionary. I can't even begin to say how jealous I am of the missionaries out in the feild and those preparing to leave immanently. I wish I could leave tomorrow!! With every missionary that I send off it makes me more and more grateful for them and I realize just how much of a sacrafice it is to do so.

Oh my!! I forgot to mention another reason why yesterday was such a good day. I ordered P90X earlier this week and it just so happened to arrive yesterday! I'm so stoked. I love the gym dearly and I miss it when I go anywhere else but it will be so nice to actually have a routine and something to go by. Also it will be nice to do it on my own time rather then trying to set aside 2 hours, including driving, to do my work outs. If I want, I could do my exercise at 11 P.M. and that to me, sounds like freedom!

(That's where I want to go!)

More to come later...

Snowboarding Adventure.

2010-03-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

This past Friday Delaney (Dean) and I went on a little adventure to Mountain High. We had the privilage of going snowboarding there a few weeks ago with a friend of mine and Dean loved it so much, I decided to suprise her for her birthday by taking her again! We had a blast! This time around we didn't even practice on the baby slope, we went straight to the bunny slope and then moved up from there as the day went on. We tried to challenge ourselves and did a good job, we loved every minute of it. By the end of the day we were flying down the hill and we were able to go around obstacles, which before would have resulted in a big fall. I was so very proud of my little Dean, she catches on fast and is now looking into getting her own gear! The day was full of fun, even the driving and I think we had a good day of bonding. The only bummer was the aftershocks, being sore and my sunburnt face and lips, but it was totally worth it!

2010-02-13T13:29:00.000-08:00

Oh boy. This week has been one for the books. I've been up and down and all around but mostly I've been running my life away. Collin Weaver and I posted a challenge between the two of us, who could run the most miles from Monday-Friday. I'm glad we did it and it was very good motivation to push myself but I am so very tired now. If you're dieing to know what the results were, I will tell you. I WON! It was a close call but in the end I ran 30 miles and Collin ran about 26. The last day, Friday, I figured I had to put up a good fight so I ran 10 miles and just about wanted to fall over and sleep for the rest of my life. I did it though and I am so glad I was able to take on that challenge. Overall it helped to show me my potential, I can push the limits. It's amazing to me all the many things our bodies can do and all the many things our minds or worries keep us from doing. Our next challenge is that we each get 1 hour every day for a week and we have to try and see who can run the most, when only given that 1 hour. Personally, I think Collin will have this one in the bag, he is more of a sprinter while I am an endurance type person. We shall see though. I'm excited to see what I can do.

Life is always a challenge in the life of Ashlynd but as of now I am holding true to what I know and believe, which is all that really matters in the end. I'm loving my classes, institute included, and I love how much I have already learned this semester.

I'm thinking of maybe making this blog into a my life, as it already is/spiritual thoughts blog. Though I don't know if that would be a benefit to everyone else as it would be for me. Maybe I will just have to go with it and be selfish. Yes, I think I will do that. It will help me update this more and also help uplift me.

A continum of my life.. Tyler Wells, a good friend of mine, left on his mission this past week and I am so very proud of him. I had the privilage of getting to hang out with him quite often for the last couple months and I must say that he has become such an amazing guy. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am that he has made the decision to serve a mission. The last time we hung out, just him and I, was one of the funnest times I have had in a LONG time. He took me to K1 speed, where I kicked his bootayy and then to FroYo where we had a yougurt and, again, I beat him at connect 4. THEN, it didn't end there, he took me to see Dear John. All in all, it was a great night and I'm thankful we were able to get a few more laighs in before he left. Again and again, I'm so proud of him and I can't wait to hear all of his fun stories!

Spiritual Thought:

In institute the other day we touched upon the story of when Jesus teaches a sermon from Simons boat and then tells him to let down his nets. Simon doesn't know why Christ is asking him to do this, they had been out fishing all night with nothing to show for it. Though Simon doesn't understand he aswers, "Nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net (Luke 5:5)." I think this is a perfect example of obedience. Simon is a fisherman, that is what he does as a profession, then this carpenter comes along and tells him to go against that of the normal way/time of cacthing fish. It would be hard, for me, to listen, especially if I had been out ALL night trying to catch fish coming up dry. I LOVE the word nevertheless, it's a beautiful thing. Isn't it true, we never want anything less then what the Lord will bless us with when we follow his commands. Now, whenever the prophet, the bishop or even the spirit tells you to act upon, or not act upon, something, DO IT! Say to yourself, "Nevertheless, I will do what you ask." NO matter what the beginning of the statement may be, end it in a nevertheless statement, for when you do what you're asked you wont recieve anything less then what your Father in Heaven has planned for you.

The Third Week of 2010.

2010-01-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

Well to start off.. It was my first week back to school! I'm quite excited for this semester even though I know I'm going to be busier then ever. I LOVE my criminal justice class already and I can't wait to really get into things! Also I'm excited for my world religions class, I feel like, even after two classes, I have already learned so much. We've been focusing for the first couple of classes on what religions is, where it began and why it's important. From what we have gone over I feel that I have already gained respect for other people and their religions, being that we all have different realities and we don't all think the same. It's interesting to think about, I almost enjoyed learning about the brain and it's reactions towards spiritual things. One of our handouts got into some detail about different things that trigger our brians to react to religion and simply caring for others, it was oddly exciting to me. Anyways, my other two classes aren't as fun but they will be rewarding to be done with; Math 110 and Spanish. My teachers are all good, what more could I ask for... Oh yea, that my English teacher would have let me in her class, but NOOOO I'm not cool enough or something. I would go into the story of how I tried to take English this semester but I shouldn't because it makes me slightly sad/ irritated.

Other then school and work, things are dandy. I am going to busy busy this semester but I think it will all be okay in the end and it will also make me feel better knowing I have four more classes under my belt and four more classes closer to being done with Palomar. Oh happy day!

Now for some fun.

On Thursday when I got done with my World Religions class I picked Delaney and Nolan and then headed home to get ready to leave for LA. The Thallons we here from Australia!! Yay for good friends that come from down under!!! I was SO very excited, I can't even begin to tell you how happy it made me to see their faces and hear thier voices. Alexa and I drove up there together, which made it a lot more exciting and so I didn't have to drive by myself. While driving I got a call from a strange number and I answered it because that's how smart I am and it's a good thing I did, it was Gabe on the other line and we were able to square away all the little details before I actually got to their hotel. When we arrived at the Radisson Alexa dropped me off at the front and Gabe, Molly and Poppy met me in the lobby!! Big hugs were given and my smile was wider than.... I don't know what, something very wide ha. I was overjoyed. We went up to their room, where Kathy was waiting and then we talked for quite a while. They filled me in on all of the fun they have been having on their holiday and also updated me on things happening back in Cairns. I miss that place dearly. After mingling for a couple hours we decided to go downstairs and have some dinner at the hotel restaurante (I think I spelled that wrong) . The food was amazing as was our servor! I guess I just really enjoyed being with the Thallons, it didn't really matter where we went, it would have been nothing short of amazing. Though, honestly, it was lovely dinner. We had some good laughs and took our time before we went for a little walk around the hotel, to work off some of our dinner ha. Then the girls and I took a little tour of our own, just playing around. When we had had enough of our adventure, going up and down the elevator and stairs, we went back to the room for some more laughs. Us girls stayed up until 12 just talking and joking then we hit the pillows knowing we would be up early in the morning.

We all woke up around 7 and started getting ready for the day and Alexa came by to meet the Thallons and pick me up. I was so excited for her to meet them, then someone else would be able to experience how wonderful they really are. I think Alexa enjoyed herself. We talked for a bit and then helped the Thallons take their bags downstairs and eventually to the airport. They had to leave for Hawaii around 10 so Aelxa and I rode the bus with them to the airport form the hotel so we could see them off. It was hard to say goodbye but I was so very grateful I got to see them. They thanked us for making the trip and taking the time to come see them and then we said our goodbyes. We were able to make more lasting memories and now I'm not as Aussie deprived. I love them so much and it really did fill my heart seeing them again, I didn't think it would be so soon. They are family to me.

I took heaps of pictures and I will put some on here as soon as I can. If Alexa didn't have the camera I would put them up right away.. So that joy is to be continued.

On another note, the rain has been insane. There have been a few times while I was driving that I couldn't even see where I was going, a wee bit scary. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the rain but that's in small doses and not when I'm trying to walk to class or see while driving on the freeway.

Life is good. The future is bright. Love Love.

P.S. Last night I saw The Lovely Bones with Tyler Wells.. I don't even know what to think. I'm not going to lie, it creeped me out. A LOT!

Boy oh Boy

2010-01-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the day off, from everything ha. I got up and decided to be lazy for a while then I went and had a good chat with some detectives at the police station. They're pretty good guys and among other things, they helped me to decide how I was going to persue my criminal justice career. Leaving the station I felt on top of the world. All my fears of how I was going to do it, in what order and if I could even achieve my goals, went out the window. They inlightened me on what the best paths to choose in order to be successful as a police officer were. One of them was even in the FBI, pretty cool stuff I didn't know before. One of my worries was whether or not I was going to be able to fit my mission in, should I do it before or after I go through the police accademy. One of the detectives told me that I should have a lot of life experience before I apply for both the accademy and a department, also that knowing spanish puts you at a high rank, gives you a higher possibility of getting hired. After hearing that I knew... I want to go on a mission, come home, AND THEN go through the police accademy. Good plan. Actually the plan that was proposed to me was that I go to Spain or Chile and nanny there for a year so I can learn good Spanish, then come home and go through the accameny. BUT why not just take my chances and go on a mission, who knows.. maybe I'll go Spanish speaking??

I left the station and called an old friend, she wanted to hang out and truth be told I wanted to see her, it had been way too long since we actually spent time with one another. We went and got lunch, picked up Delaney from school and took her home, then we went for a little hike through Daily Ranch. The hike was nice, I like the outdoors, in moderation, and I got to do a more relaxing form of exercise. My new insights from the mornings conversations and then this, made me feel so.... free. It's nice to feel like I am closer to figuring out my life. While on my hike and in the car I talked my old friend about all different kinds of things, one being the church. She was very interested and it was nice to be able to share pieces of my testimony with her. She may be coming to church on Sunday with me :) We shall see what happens.

The church is just so wonderful and I'm so thankful to have it in my life. More and more I realize that there are people who have never even felt the spirit, yet we don't always listen to it, crazy.

Now I have work all today and tomorrow.. should be fun.

Yay for Nikki and Sam & Scott and Mel getting married!! SO exciting!

P.S. I got my hair done.. again. It's shorter now.

I absolutely LOVE the new Michael Buble cd, it melts my heart, I can't even say it enough.

Christmas. New Years.

2009-12-31T11:20:00.000-08:00

First off I would just like to share a song with you that I heard no the way to work today. I've listened to it many times on the radio but I guess never really paid much attention to the words. It's an awesome song! I think it helped me to shake some things off..

Got a call last night from an old friend’s wife

Said I hate to bother you

Johnny Ray fell off the wagon

He’s been gone all afternoon

I know my buddy so I drove to Skully’s

And found him at the bar

I say hey man, what’s going on

He said I don’t know where to start

Sarah’s old car’s about to fall apart

And the washer quit last week

We had to put momma in the nursing home

And the baby’s cutting teeth

I didn’t get much work this week

And I got bills to pay

I said I know this ain’t what you wanna hear

But it’s what I’m gonna say

(Chorus)

Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy

It’s just a common case of everyday reality

Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up

To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Well his face turned red and he shook his head

He said you don’t understand

Three kids and a wife depend on me

And I’m just one man

To top it off I just found out
That Sarah’s 2 months late

I said hey bartender set us up a round

We need to celebrate

(Chorus)

Sounds like life to me plain old destiny

Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty

You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride

Get used to all this unpredictability

Sounds like life

Man I know its tough but you gotta suck it up

To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy

Sounds like life to me

Life stinks sometimes. BUT. It's life and everyone has to deal with it. I don't know why I never caught on to this song before but when I heard it this morning I just loved it. I have friends dealing with some hard things and I can't help but feel bad but, again, it's life and we all have things we're up against.

Now, looking back on this year, good old 2009, it's been a good year for me and I don't have much to complain about. In all honesty it was one for the books. I went and lived in Australia for 7 months for Heaven sakes! I would have never thought that at 18 I would go to a different country to live, let alone visit! I'm such a lucky girl. I got to see another part of the world and I loved it so very much. As you know, the beginning was hard but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I made life long friends and family there, it's such a good feeling!

2009 brought me so many other things as well. I was able to gain such a strong testimony of the gospel, one that will never be shaken. I learned that I want to assist people in rough situations, help them to know it's worth it in the end to stick it out and be strong. I, began to, learn to love myself. I finished counseling (one of the big accomplishments of 09). I worked more then I thought I ever would as a teenager and have tried to be more independant. Why can't I think of all the things I have done... At the moment I am drawing a blank but I am sure that I have done, seen and learned A LOT this year.

I'm excited to have a new year ahead of me. I know that this year will be better then the last, as I have more knowledge now than I did then. Of course, along with the new year comes goals and resolutions, I have those as well and I hope to REALLY carry them out. I want to really think about them this year and make sure that they are things worth working on, not just silling things I know I will forget about a week later. I want to be a better person, know what exact career path I want to take and how to get there. I want to read my scriptures every day, like I did while I was in Australia (there I studied, not just read a few pages). Morning and Nightly prayers are a big one for me, I have a hard time remembering to say my morning prayers and I know it will make the world of a difference. Pay my tithing right away, instead of waiting until the last minute, when I don't think I will be able to anymore. I want to continue to work out 5 times a week, be fit!! My goal isn't to be skinny, like it usually is, my goal this new year is to work on just being healthy, enjoying and embracing me! I'm going to need to get in better shape though if I ever want to make it through the police accademy!!!

As for the little things... I want to look into braces, really get my mouth in good shape. I want to get myself a laptop that I can use for school and what not. I want to take on my own insurance and cell phone payments, be more responsible. Lastly, I want to start saving so, one day, I can go back to Australia and visit my lovely family that I miss and love so much:)

All these things are attainable and I know I can do them. Baby steps.

Remember that it is life and I have to suck it up sometimes, I'm not the only one that has arduous things to deal with. This new year better be ready.. Ashlynd is coming!!

P.S. Did I mention that my Christmas was amazing and I have the best family anyone could ask for. I absolutely loved being able to stay with family and just enjoy being around them. It's wonderful to know that you have so many loved ones that live close by. My daddy made this Christmas just wonderful, I don't know how, but he tops himself every year!

This, along with my new art table and new runners would have to be a few of my favorite things I got for Christmas.

I Have No Idea..

2009-12-19T13:47:00.000-08:00

What the heck is wrong with me today? I went out to lunch, on my break, with my family and when we were done I gave my dad a hug and just started crying. I felt really silly but I couldn't stop it from happening. I don't know what the deal is, maybe I'm having a breakdown, though I don't think that's what it is. I've been doing quite well and Christmas is coming, life should be good.
I did some shopping a couple days ago and got most of it done, I only have a few more places to go and then I will be feeling good about things. It's hard to buy presents, I think. Knowing what to get is difficult for starters and then there are the expectations, you never know what someone else is going to be getting you nor how much they are going to spend. Oh the joys of gift buying. I love buying things for other people but I hate when I have to recieve something back, I don't like feeling like it's a contest to see who can do a better job. This year I tried to set my limits with people, that way things would be even, the best way to do things. I know, no matter what, I will be happy on Christmas day when I get to give out all my gifts and see people smile. All will be worth it.
I finshed school this week! Oh happy days! I was only taking one class yet I feel like I am going to have so much free time these next couple weeks, It's a nice feeling. Next semester is going to be a hard one but I can't wait for it all. I'm taking a criminal justice class and I sure hope I like it, if not, I am going to have to rethink the future.
Moving right along... Last night was my family wards Christmas party. It was like a little reunion, I loved it! I hadn't seen kyle Dawson since long before I left for Australia and then there's Collin whom I have only seen twice in the last three years! Also I saw Casey and Eric for the frist time in about 2 and a half years as well. SO crazy that we all use to hang out just about every day. I loved being able to see everyone together and realize that not many things have changed, as far as friendship goes, we can still all count on one another. There may be a few new additions to the group but we are still pretty tight knit, with a couple exceptions. Those who have wanted to stay close have and that's been most of us! I just can't say how much I enjoyed it. When the party was over we did something we haven't done in forever, we went to the Washington building and played hide and go seek and sardines. We had a blast... well I did, I hope everyone else did. 19 years old and still playing little kid games, those are the days I don't want to grow up.
I'm so proud of the boys. They are all going to school and being the best they can be, it makes me happy. Knowing that they have bright futures is all that I wanted, not to mention they have such strong testimonies. It's nice to feel like I was a part of the foundation on which they built.
I'm ready for a nap right about now. Usually on Saturdays, don't tell anyone this, I take a little nap on my lunch break. Not today though. I'm glad I got to spend it with my family, it was nice, as silly as they are. I love them so very much and I can't wait until Taylor comes home next week, it's always nice to have her around.

There's So Much To Be Thankful For.

2009-11-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

Sooo. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and what else is there to really post about but what I am thankful for. My new favorite Christmad song is one by Josh Groban titled, "Thankful." I will post the lyrics later. Oh boy, I just can't even tell you how much I love it and how true it is. There are so many things in my life I have to be thankful for, things I don't realize or really count as blessing usually. Looking over all of the many things that I have I feel as though I am selfish when I sulk or feel bad for myself, it's so silly. I need to be making lists of all of the things I DO have, not the things I don't have.
On Sunday I got to teach the lesson in relief society. I decided to teach on gratitude, getting in the spirit of Thanksgiving. I felt as though I wasn't well prepared or that I should have done something different but I think I did an alright job. I enjoy teaching, I really do, I end up getting more out of it then most, I think. Anyways, it was a great opportunity to reflect on all of the things I am thankful for and to hear what others are teuly thankful for, it helps us to remeber the little things. I read so many stories while preparing for my lesson and it's amazing all the things we overlook; For example, body soap, we don't have to use stinky soap, we have good smelling ones that allow you to smell better when you get out of the shower/bath than when you got in. How wonderful it is to know that I have so many things in my life.
Let me just make a little list for you now, we'll see how long/short it is. I don't know what I'm going for but I am going to let you know the things that I am truly grateful for right now. I am know that I have been stating in my previious blog posts but now is the time to really ponder.

My List:
-family: Taylor came home for Thanksgiving and I love it! It's so nice to have her around. We need our families more than we know.
-good friends: I've been able to see how derasticly different life is for those who don't have good examples to follow, this is something I don't have to worry about. I have amazing friends that I can surround myself with.
-my job: So people are searching to find jobs so they can provide for themselves and their families. I have a job and I don't know what I would do without it.
-the Gospel: It's the ONE thing that I can count on always, the reason I am who I am.
-music: is love, makes me happy!
-my body: As much as I don't like it at times, I sure do love that I am able to do so much with it and it keeps going.
-my home
-my car
-my knowledge: education, gospel and knowledge of reality.
-my health
-my hair
-facewash
-my phone
- My Savior

These are not in any oder, at all. AND, of course, there are more. I really could go on and on, get to the really silly things and the really specific things. I will save you the novel. Just know that I have a lot to be grateful for.
I'm so excited to see all my of my family tomorrow! I'm so excited I can't even wait!

Thankful Lyrics
Some days we forget to look around us
Some days we can't see the joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for

Look beyond ourselves, there's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say,
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
We're so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't seeIt's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each others love

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't seeIt's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for

Amazing song. The end.

New.

2009-11-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

Moon.

Hair.

Tires.

My oh my. I have had a pretty good week, I'm not gunna lie. These things may mean nothing to you but they sure mean I lot to me. For starters, I went to the midnight showing of New Moon, it was magically delicious. I was tired but I just couldn't get over how beautiful the characters, namely Jacob Black, are. I fell in love, for real. I could go on and on about it but I think I will leave it at that so no one thinks I am obsessive or crazy. Now for my hair, I got it done yesterday, it's dark and long. Walking into Studio 158 I had light brown boy short hair and I left with dark brown locks of love. For some reason I feel so much better about life because my hair ha. I think I needed it, as silly as that may sound. Tires... You may be wondering why that was even listed above. Well, let me tell you about my tires. They have been quite bare since I got home and I hadn't had the time or the money to get them done. On Monday, after being told that I was going to die because my front tire was going to explode from being so bare, I decided to go get a quote. When I went to Discount Tires I was told they were doing a $100 rebate this weekend and I was all about that. Friday finally came and I took my car down to the shop. I now have 4 beautiful new tires and I am a happy little girl. I didn't think that it would make that bnig of a difference in my life, but it did. Driving around with good tires makes me feel less vulnorable or something, I don't even know how to explain it but I am just very happy about it. I like to point out my gorgeous tires to all those who have the privilage of riding in my car :)

Life is good.

The End.

Life Aint Always Beautiful.

2009-11-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

sometimes it's just plain hard
life can knock you down, it can break your heart
BUT the struggles make you stronger
and the changes make you wise
and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time
Life Aint Always Beautiful
but it's a beautiful ride.

This is my theme song always.
Last night I watched a brutal high school football game, one that should have been happy and victorious. I don't know exactly what happened to create the outcome but somewhere along the way the Escondido Cougars decided they didn't want the win as much as the grizzlies. Bummer. I thought that we had it in the bag. Then a bump in the road came and I lost some hope.
Why is it that we get so far ahead only to fall behind again?
I guess I know the answer to that one. We need those lows to prove how amazing the highs are and, of course, like my good friend Gary Allan says to, "make you stronger." Yes, it is true, I am strong because I was forced to be weak at times but does that mean I embrace the challenges? Nuh uh. Should I? Probably. They just mean that there is room for improvement, which truly is a never-ending process. They show us who cares, who will be there no matter what. They help us prove to ourselves that we are stronger than we think.
I have been in countless situations when I didn't think I would be able to make it out whole but, being that I am still here, I have been able to endure. The past year or so I have really been able to realize that EVERYONE goes through arduous times in life and that we never know what someone else is dealing with.
I don't know where this is coming from or why I felt the need to write it on my "sweet Australia" blog, which needs a new name by the way; I am not there anymore and should probably stop living in the past. Anyways, this is just rantings but I am going to continue on, if you don't mind..
In life we are angled certain ways to take specific paths, though we don't know why or what will come of it. Right now, I wish I new what angle that was. I think often of how I would like to be a detective and I truly believe that I have a future in that area, I just wish I knew it. With that being said I guess I should know that it something I should do because I believe that we think of things for a reason and we are prompted to do things and pursue things for a purpose. For example, when you think something kind about some one you should tell them, you never know if they are having a bad day and your compliment could turn their attitude/life around. A woman today told me that she liked me hair a lot, that she wished she had the face for it, becasue you have to have a certain "look" to pull off short hair. She made my weekend :) She didn't know that that is one of the things I struggle a lot with yet she said it and it changed my attitude. Furthermore, I should know that I need to take on this new challenge and "dive" into this career oportunity, which is only so if I make it one.
Should I stop talking about it and do something about it? I think so. I will have to get right on that. I will let you know what I find out, how it all goes.

P.S. The twins birthday was good :) I enjoy having them around, they make me smile. We played a sweet game called "what if" and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love it, it is my new favorite... along with Maddi and Amber. We need people, we need friends, we need to feel loved.

Tribute.

2009-11-06T15:30:00.000-08:00

Tyler Bear and Charles Wahquist. I love them both and it is their birthday! They are old men but I don't even care I still think they're great.
Let me just start by saying that they have been such a strength to me since my fateful freshman year of high school. From silly group hang-outs to stake dances I have enjoyed every moment I have been able to spend with them. They bring a smile to my face always and seem to lift my spirits whenever I am in the presence. Could I have asked for better friends? Nay. I don't know what I did to get so lucky. Friends have come in and out of my life but never have they suck the way the Wahlquist boys have. They have both proven to be true friends, ones that will be there no matter what. Friends until we're at leat 71? Yes.
Garrett was my first dance :) and Tyler was the first boy with such an attitude that I found myself longing to be around, weird I know, he really is sweet. Tyler is the cuddley teddy and Garrett is a stud. I just can't say enough how much I love these two boys and how thankful I am for them.
I'm the luckiest girl in the world I think. I have so many old brothers looking after me and helping me out.

I can't believe we are all getting older, yet our group has done a good job of staying together, it's wonderful :)

LONG Time.....

2009-10-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

Since I last posted. I can't even believe I've almost been home for a month! Time goes by so quickly, it amazes me really. It's been so nice being home, I can't even begin to explain how happy being able to see my family makes me feel. With that said, being home is also hard. I miss Australia and the many wonderful people I met there. The McCulloch's became family to me and I just wish I could see them, hold little Tilly and have a play with Felix and Indi. I didn't take it all in enough.
Now that I am home, I have a job, a big girl one at that. AND I am taking a class at Palomar, just getting myseld back into things, then I will have a full schedule next semester. I signed up for four classes but was told that I was crazy for doing so since they are fast track classes. The one keeps me busy enough, actually I should be doing my homework right now ha, instead od posting on here. It's all good though, I'll get it done. On Sunday I got a calling! I'm a teacher in relief society. I can't wait! I'm teaching tomorrow, a lesson that I taught in Australia ha, hopefully it goes well.
I love country music! It's so nice to be able to turn the radio on and just listen to country on the radio, it makes me so very happy. I don't know what it is but I am definitley a country junkie right now.
Things are going well for me at the moment. I can't really complain about anything. Today is Halloween, Taylor came home for the weekend, I get to spend time with my family, I have been blessed to have a wonderful job and an amazing boss. Life is good today. Church is amazing as well. Of course I have my moments when I think about the not so pleasent things but they are few and far between, it's good :) Also I've really been looking into law inforcement, criminal justice stuff. I really would like to persue that and I hope I don't let that dream fade out. I am going to make it happen! Like everything I do in life, I worry that I will not be able to be suddessful in that area so I've been shying away from the idea of getting into that feild. I can do it, I just have to really committ. Whomever is reading this, you have to help me see it through, don't let me give up! It would be amazing and, most of the time, I think I could be good at it, I see myself there.
For now, that's it. Things are Ayy OOOO Kaaay!

Love Love

Goodbyes.

2009-09-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

STINK.
I'm not very good at saying goodbyes. For one, I'm a cry baby, and two, when it all comes down to it I just don't know how to get out all that I want to say right. This weekend has been amazing. To start, I went to my last sports night and had a blast. Won a few volley games, got smashed in basketball, something I wish I was better at, and took heaps of photos with everyone. On Saturday I got up early and went for a run with Felix, we did the red arrow and such. Then I went over to the Thallon's house to say my goodbyes to them. That was difficult for me, they have been so good to me and I wish I could have thanked them properly. For a farewell gift they gave me two Pandora charms and an ice cube tray that forms the cubes into the shape of Australia :) It's cute. Then after leaving there house I met Denise and the other Aisa girls at the chapel, we had planned to hang out all that day. From there we went to a girl name Emma's house, then to a cafe on the beach for some afternoon tea, lunch, and off to AJ Hackett so I could do a minjin swing. The swing was heaps of fun and I was glad that my girlies were there to help cheer me on. When we left the bungy site we went over to the Aisa's house and hung out before we went off to the bowling alley. Bowling was awesome, other YSA came to hang out and have fun. Honestly they are so good to me and I am blessed to have all those wonderful people in my life.
Today was incredible full stop. I'm going to try to express my feelings, though it is a little bit hard right now. I woke up to a beautiful morning, minus the dust right now. The weather wasn't too extreme, just a little bit warm, which meant I wouldn't look too bad when I arrived at church after walking there. I watched/read through some conference talks, looked over my lesson for today and then headed off to church a but early. Church was unbelievably good, not because I gave the Sunday school lesson ha, but because I could feel of the love my Savior has for me every where I went, it was ALL around me. Many who have touched and changed my life since arriving here I had to say good bye to, it was difficult, but as I hugged them goodbye I felt their love and care for me. This is home to me just as well as Escondido is, if only my family was here. Elder Hogg gave a good talk in Sacrament and the new elder, coming to replace Lines bore his testimony. Missionaries have such a wonderful spirit about them and it is amazing to behold. I love their conviction and being able to hear their testimonies, it always strengthens me. As I have said before, the missionaries here are the best and I don't know what I would have done without their priesthood and service unto me. When church was over we said our good byes, I guess the up side is I will be able to write the elders once I get home, I won't be in the area any more ha.
I left church with Denise and went over to the Aisa's house, Denise's cousins, to relax before we went off to a fireside/family home evening. I got asked at church if I would do the music number at the fireside, so while there I had MJ play for me so I could practice my song, "I Feel My Savior's Love." Us girls ended up going to a place called "the lookout" before going to the fireside, it's an amazing view of Cairns, so beautiful. We then finally went to the Luki's for the FHE. The lesson touched my heart, deep. It was on the Savior, the atonement. We watched a video, which was a slide show made up of pictures of the Savior and stories within the Bible, it made me bawl like a baby. Then Noah, the man teaching, asked us all to tell of how we have felt the Savior's love in our own lives, what we felt during the video. As we went around the room my heart was filled. Noah also said that the activities organized for that night were a way of saying good bye to me, thanking me for all I have done while I was here. As people bore their testimonies and opened their hearts, the spirit was very strong and I believe that all could feel it's overwhelming presence. It didn't end there though, we then did an activity. Noah held a plate of cookies in his hand and told us that we were all allowed a cookie, but if we took one we had to make sure to eat it, each one of the cookies taken would be paid for with 10 push-ups done by Jared Luki. Jared got ready as the plate was handed to the first person. They took a cookie, but before the plate could go any further Jared had to finish his push-ups. This was done with everyone in the room, whether they took a cookie or not, Jared had to do 10 push-ups for each individual. There were over 15 people in the room, needless to say Jared was struggling with his duty but nonetheless he continued on. He sweat, took many breaks, grunted and even whimpered but he did not give up. We cheered him on and had to watch him struggle, it was hard to do. I wanted to take some of the heat for him, but it was not allowed, Jared had to do it on his own. Everyone of us was allowed a cookie because he paid for it. As Jared would do sets, that became more and more broken as time went on, Noah read scriptures of the Savior at the atonement. It was so moving and real. Yes, Jared was just doing push-ups but you could see the hurt on his face and how easy it could have been for him to stop altogether and give up, but he didn't. This gave me a little bit of insight to the atonement. Our Savior loves us enough that he took upon Himself the pains of the world, he suffered, he bled and died. It's amazing. The cookies represented eternal life. In the end there were still many cookies on the plate,some people, including myself, had rejected the cookie, the eternal life. This shows that there is still much to share with those around us. How many of us have cookies hidden in our bags? Whether we taste of it or not, Christ has paid for that sin, just as Jared had to do the push-ups whether we ate a cookie or not. When the activity was over Jared bore his testimony. Jared is a tank yet the love of his Savior and the truthfulness of the Gospel brought him to tears, how could anyone deny it's truth. I then sang my song and, again, felt the power of the spirit and the love of my Father and elder brother in Heaven.
Life is good. I've learned more about the Gospel in these past 7ish months, then I have in my 19 years of living. There really are no words to express the happiness I feel for the blessing of the Gospel in my life. I hope to share with those around me, that I do not have cookies stowed away in secret places. I'm going to miss Cairns, I hope to come back here some day, I know I will have people welcoming me with open arms if I do. If I ever need anything I know where to go and who I can turn to. The people of the Cairns 2nd branch are a strength to me and have given me more then I could ever ask for.

P.S. I will try and post some pictures tomorrow. We shall see. No promises but I will try.

Lucky To Have Been Where I Have Been.

2009-09-24T03:51:00.000-07:00

Lucky to be coming home again.

Tomorrow will be my last full Friday in Australia, next Friday I will be on my way to Sydney. Life is crazy. I never thought I would get the opportunity to leave the country, especially to come to Australia. Living here has opened my eyes, showed me and helped me to learn heaps. No two people are the same, we all come from different places and lead different lives. For me, I am who I am because of what I believe and what I have been taught, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Last night I went to institute where I was spiritually fed and nourished. The Elders came to my rescue, gave me a blessing, then I got to sit and listen to an amazing lesson. I was reminded that I need to think before I speak, that the things that come out of my mouth are only reflections of my thoughts, meaning that I also need to be mindful of the things that I invite into my thoughts. I don't want to do or say things that would bring shame to the church, to the teachings I know to be true. The other day I yelled at India and the second I stopped and thought of how she may have been thinking of me in that moment I crumbled and felt horrible. After institute finished I stuck around and talked with Denise, the best friend a girl could have. She's been so good to me :) We talked for a little while, she had to wait for her siblings, and then went into the relief society room with a girl named Mary Jane, whom started to play the piano. She plays beautifully. Elder Lines leaves for home in less than a week and he asked if we would sing for him, we wanted to record it ha. We agreed to do it and ended up singing a copious amount of songs from the hymn book. The reason I mention this is because, for some reason, it had a huge effect on me. I recorded two of the songs on my phone and have been listening to them over and over again, they bring peace to my heart. It's as if we practiced those songs many times, when really we just sat around and started to sing hymn after hymn, the elders even joined in and, again, it sounded rehearsed. A song of the righteous is a prayer unto God. That's exactly how it felt. My worries of shingles and money went flying out the door and I was filled with love. Because I have been given much, I too must give.
I just read a friend of mines blog and, no joke, it made me want to be a better person. She wrote of how she was struggling with many things a year ago and that she didn't really know what to do in life. She decided that she was going to start a journal, but not for herself, but for everyone else. A journal was bought and she wrote the first entry, explaining her circumstances and inviting those who stumbled upon it to write of theirs. She did this in hopes that people may be more mindful of those around them and that those who read the journal would get to see into someone else life, the struggles they face and the trials they see. This journal was left on a random street corner, she didn't know where it would go or end up. This was a year ago and she got a text today from a unknown person giving her the whereabouts of the journal, that she's heard nothing about until now. The text said that she had touched many peoples lives and that there were many entries in the journal which was now making it's way to San Fransisco. How utterly incredible that it. I want to do something that will touch others. I want to reach out, to make a difference, even if it is just to one person.

This blog won't be able to hold it's name for very much longer, though I will always know and remember where it all started, in "sweet Australia." This adventure, journey, growing experience, trek, ride, whatever you may call it, has been one for the books, for the blog,s and I am SO thankful to be where I am at this very moment.

P.S. Tomorrow will also be my last photo shoot! It's been fun. I'll take some photos, though the make-up won't be very exciting, it's an exercise shoot.

Felix is the man!

2009-09-22T04:27:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a good, tough, interesting one. I've grown close to India and Felix yet I have also been able to feel of the love that I have for the others while they have been away. On Sunday night Felix came with me to a fireside at the church :) It was a good experience, I think. I made sure that he sat next to the Elders so that he would feel more comfortable. Elder Hogg made sure to entertain Felix, and I himself ha. Some of the entertainment included looking through the scriptures. Feel asked Hogg where his other "Bible" was, I guess he's seen me with my scriptures enough to know that I have two different books, whereas Elder Hogg has his combined. That meant a lot to me, it just goes to show that I can be an example, which also showed in another way that I will tell of later. Anyways, the fireside went very well, it was all about families and I enjoyed it very much. At the end I sang a song with the choir and, of course, I cried. I was quite emotional because I knew that that was going to be my last fireside here and I can't even begin to say how much I am going to miss the Cairns 2nd Branch, they're so amazing.
Moving right along. Yesterday was a good day, for the most part, the kids were well behaved and we didn't have too many problems. We hung out for the day, I worked on some things for Pip and made heaps of progress on this little project she has me doing for her. For dinner the kids and I made pizzas. We had two bases so they made a contest out of it; Felix got one and India got the other, they wanted to see who could make the best pizza. It was fun, I must say and they turned out well, which I was pleased about. I'm not going to say who "won" because I reckon they both did a wonderful job. Before we actually ate the pizza we said "grace," well Felix said it. This is when I knew that my actions rub off on the kids. He was blessing the food and he said, "we ask that this may nourish and strengthen us." Now that right there is a very Mormon thing to say and I felt so proud when I heard it come out of his mouth. I actually opened my eyes and looked at him, he was looking back at me from the couch and whispered, "I got that from you." He makes me happy and shows me that I don't do things in vain.
Now for today. Pip, Tilly and Fraser came home! It was so nice to see them! I've truly missed them and I know the kids have too, even though they were only concerned about what was brought back for them. Today was a good day overall, though I had to go to the doctors on account that I may have shingles. I'm quite upset about that, it's not cheap to go to the doctors and get medication when you don't have medicare here. Anyways, I won't get into that because I don't even know if I have it yet, I have to wait for my results to come back from the lab, which I probably won't get for a few days. I'm praying I don't. After my doctors appointment I came home and put Tilly to sleep, while she slept I stayed downstairs with her in my room. Sitting on my bed I heard Felix coming into the house from a play outside, he was singing, "Ashy Bree, Ashy Bree, she is the girl for me!" Isn't he the cutest. When Fraser asked him about it later on he got all embarrassed and said that he was just singing and made it up while he was coming up the stairs, it didn't mean anything. Well, whether it did or not, I thought it was cute and I am thankful for it! He has made this week good for me, worth it! Heres to Foof!

P.S. We didn't end up going to Townsville and I am so glad! I wouldn't have wanted to miss the fireside for anything. Church is the best medicine in life.

What is Fair?

2009-09-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

India has been telling me over and over that things arent fair. Nothing, according to her, is fair unless she has everything that everyone else has, unless she is where everyone else is, unless she does what everyone else does. It's incredible to me that someone could be so ungrateful. So, again, what is fair? Not life that's for sure. We all findourselves in situations we don't understand and we go through things that no one should ever have to, but that is life isn't it? Always teaching us to be better, stronger, more mature yet more fun loving, happy, humble and grateful. This little 7 year old girl has given me more trouble then anyone I have ever met, yet I have so much love in my heart for her I can't even explain it. I wish to be mad at her but I can't hold myself to it. To be honest, I have never been treated so badly in my life. Never have I had someone tell me more that they hated me or had someone defy everything I say always. It's incredible. I don't get it. All I want is for her to be happy though, being the reason I put up with it. Also the reason I get so frustrated, I just want her to enjoy life and be the best she can.
The end of that for now.
This week has been good and hard for me. Having the kids all to myself has been an interesting experience. They make me smile but at the same time they make me want to punch a wall. We've had many laughs and fights but overall I think it's helping us to grow closer and understand eachother better.
Last night India and Felix came to a YSA devotional with me and then to "sports night," which didn't end up being much of a sports night due to the fact that most people were going bowling for the YSA activity. I was so glad that everyone could finally meet a couple of the kids I watch, the people I live with, my family. For some reason, I proud. The memembers treated the kids so well, made conversation with them and even wrote them a little note during the activity we did for the lesson. During "sports night" the elders played with Indie and Feel and showed them so much love. I am so grateful to have the Gospel in my life, it's made me who I am and I can't see myself without it, ever.
The other day my dad sent me a wonderful talk by Spencer W Kimball, "Lock Your Heart." If you have not read it I suggest that you do, it amazing. I am not on a mission but it was relevent to what me and my father were talking about. I have so much respect for missionaries and all that they do. Since reading that talk I have read many and I just can't get over how wonderful going on a mission would be. I've been considering it very strongly.

One week and 6 days left in Cairns.

A-May-ZING.

2009-09-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

Is all I can say. I'm so glad I got to give both the talk and the lesson today. Preparing for my talk was stressful, I felt like it had to be so perfect, but in the end all of my work paid off. I was able to stand at the pulpit and speak, without all of the nerves and having to stare down at my piece of paper. This is due to my Father in Heaven, I know, but also because I prepared. I don't think I have ever put so much time or worry into a talk before. It incredible what you can do when you put forth the time and effort. When sacrament meeting was over I got many compliments, I'm not being proud, I'm just pleased because I was so worried about it. The missionaries, yes the ones I've been raving about, told me that it was amazing and that it is went right along with what they had been talking about with their investigator, whom was there today :) I always pray that something I say will touch someones heart and I'm grateful that I was able to help give understanding to a member of the congregation. Elder Hogg said that my talk sounded like one from the general authorities, he reckons I'm going to be the general relief society president one day. See, I told you they were sweet. This is not where my good Sunday ends though. At choir we sang our little hearts out and practiced for a fireside that is coming up. When it came time to close we were all seated on the stands and he choir director was going to call on someone to give the closing prayer. She looked up and down the rows until she made her way to the front row where I was sitting. For some reason I just kept looking her in the eyes, usually when people are looking for volunteers you look away in fear of being picked. As we starred at one another she began to laugh. I though it was just because I was the only one that was looking up, but I was wrong. After it was quite certain, through the laughter and eye contact, that I was the chosen one she continued to giggle and stated that I was the only white, though she used an island term, one there. I them had to laugh because I had never noticed it before. Sister Kimia, the choir director, when she finished laughing, spoke of how she was grateful that I continued to come every week and that she was so thankful for me and my contributions to the choir. She said that they were blessed to have me and my talents there, as tears came to her eyes. I was then supposed to give the closing prayer and try to hold back my own tears.
I am going to miss the Cairns 2nd branch, they have been so good to me. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have them here to support and strengthen me.
When I got back to the house after church was over I hung around for a bit, went up stairs and then sat in my room. I did this until around dinner time when I finally decided that I would be social and hang out upstairs. India had a friend over Sydney but she was being picked up as I was going up the stairs. Once Sydney left India had a fit and started crying because she said she was bored. This was no ordinary fit, it was a tantrum because she was tired and she was carrying on very loudly. Pip was trying to give the baby a bath as India was raging on, walking all over the house. She made her way into the babies room, where Pip was and during a break from India's wailing all I could here was Pip say, "India if you don't stop this I am going to have to take you to the doctors!" I could not control myself, I was almost on the floor laughing. Pip sounded so serious, yet I knew that she was secretly being mean. Oh boy. India finally calmed down once I got her to participate in a art contest I made up. Then once that got too boring for her she laid on the couch and gave in, she went to sleep and Felix and I sat down for a lovely, quite, dinner.
Today has been one for the books. I loved it all... Well maybe not the nervous bit before my talk, but other than that, perfect.
The church is true.
Pip and Fraser leave tomorrow for a week in Bali. I hope things go well while they are gone, I have faith that they will. Tomorrow night, hopefully, the kids and I will go to the BBQ at Tropics and then I will have to figure out other things to keep them occupied during the week. It will all be good. I'm excited.

Busy. Busy.

2009-09-12T04:06:00.000-07:00

Life has been good to me the past couple of days, as it has all my years really. I can't complain about much, especially right now. I just got home from a wonderful dinner with some of the YSA and the missionaries. We went to Charlies a buffet restaurant and I enjoyed it very much. The food was great and I absolutely love hearing missionary stories, so you can imagine how intrigued I was with it all. I know I've been ranting about these missionaries but I really must say that they are amazing. While being here, missionaries have helped me feel comfortable and confident, I don't know if it's strictly because of the power that they have or because most of them are from the states, maybe even a little bit of both? I'm not sure but I do know that they have truly been a blessing and a strength to me while I have been here. Funny how the people that I find comfort in, in Australia, are from the US. ha. That's not fully true.. I do have good friends that are Aussies. Anyways, it was a good time had by all. It's an interesting experience to walk behind missionaries in a restaurant or a public place. People all around stop their conversations and just stare, not to mention the fact that no one really looks at their faces, just their name tags. I reckon going on a mission is what I need to do. At the moment, I have no special someone in my life holding me back, we shall see where I'm at in two years. I will be preparing though, one can never be too careful.
Funny story for you all. The other day, Thursday to be exact, Pip and I went for a walk, the kind I explained before, the ones that make me feel like running would be a break. Before we began our walk I took Tilly outside and put her in her pram while Pip finished up some things upstairs. I get the baby strapped in and was all ready to go, Pip came out with her runners in her hand and sandals on her feet, I guess she decided that she would just change once she got outside. She proceeded to take off her sandals and put her runners on, then she placed her sandals on top of the car along with the house key and away we went. We set off on a hard walk and as we discussed things we worked out that I would have to turn around before her so that I could go and get he kids from school, which I didn't mind doing at all. The day was warm, which added to the intensity of the walk, but it was nice. When it came time, I ran/walked to the house so that I wouldn't be late to get the children. I rushed inside to grab my purse when I arrived home and then hopped in the car. Off I went to school, picked up the kids, they were all well behaved and everything went smooth. As I walked up the stairs with the kids Pip asked if I had her sandals and the house key. I had no idea what she was talking about for a bit, then she reminded me that she had put them on top of the car before we left. "Oh NO!" Was all I could say. I had totally forgotten that they were there. Pip and I went for a short drive to see if we could find them on the road but soon turned back because she didn't want to leave the baby with Zoe for too long. I then decided to go for my own expedition to find them. As I retraced the way I had gone to get the kids I drove slowly, prayed and tried to keep a good look out. Pulling onto the highway I was sure they were long gone forever, but I soon was proved wrong. Their in the middle of the highway was one of the sandals and then I spotted the other one, on the side of the road. I had to drive a ways to be able to pull to the side but I did so as soon as possible, by the way I was doing 80 so a little ways ended up not being so little(80 kilometers per hour, don't worry, that's the legal speed on a highway, sometimes it's even 100). I got out of the car ran, for quite a while, a grabbed the shoe on the side of the road, then their lie in front of me a challenge, I had to get the sandal in the middle of the highway without being hit. I waited for a very precise time and went for it. My heart was pounding out of my chest, I was nervous; but in the end I made it out alive, with the shoe in hand! I then drove them both home safely and gave a prayer of thanks, for my life and the things sitting on the passengers seat, which, in my opinion, were not so important. In the end I learned a very valuable lesson: Always look on top of the car before you get in, you never know when there might be something on top that you may loose.

The Sandal that nearly took my life.

I give me talk tomorrow! And my lesson... I'm worried that they aren't going to turn out well but I guess I've done what I can, now I have to rely on the spirit. It will be a relief once they are over, though I am grateful for the opportunities.
Only 2 weeks and 6 days left in Cairns...

Consada.

2009-09-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

I am a very tired girl. Today has been good though, no worries. I reckon I am going to go bed now so I will be able to wake up in the morning for my spin class but I will write tomorrow sometimes during the day. I have sports night tomorrow night, being the reason I am getting the gym out of the way in the morning. Sports night always makes me happy so I am quite excited, to say the least. It's Friday again, already, I can't believe it! Three more weeks until I leave for Sydney! Holy Moly! Times flying by, we shall see how it goes next week being alone with the two older ones of the McCulloch bunch. I got a letter from Lexa today, it made me so happy to hear from her, I was grateful. It doesn't take much to make me happy, the little things are those that penetrate deep.

TaTa for now!

Because I Have Been Given Much.

2009-09-09T03:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. I was beat by the end of it though so I took a night off blogging and decided it wouldn't be the end of the world.
I've been very blessed because today was a good as well. I started the day off by going for a walk with Pip and Matilda. Did you know that fast walking can be very arduous? I do now! Pip is a very good walked, she walks faster then anyone I know and she can keep it up for a long time, even with a bad knee and pushing a pram(stroller). Anyways, we went for the same walk we went on Monday and I absolutely loved it. Running is something that I'm not too horrid at, I can't run fast but I can keep a good pace and go for a good amount of time. Then there's walking and when I go with Pip I feel like I need to take some lessons on it, I get puffed out. In my mind, walking wasn't a very good exercise, you couldn't get much out of it; I've since learned("learnt" if you're from Australia or England) that you can get a wonderful workout from walking, though you have to go for twice a long as you would running. Moving along now, to after my walk. Matilda fell asleep in the pram so when we arrived back at the house I transferred her into my day bed and then got ready. Tilly slept for a good amount of time so I did some things around the house and just sat down for a little while. When the little one woke up I fed and played with her and then the process of sleep and tidying continued on. At one point I watched a really sad episode of Oprah, I cried. After that was over I had a worry about my family because I hadn't heard from them in a few days and I couldn't get through to the house at all. I'm a worry wort I know. Finally I got in touch with my dad and I felt heaps better about life, grabbed Tilly and went off to pick up the kids from school. Pip met me at the school, she switched cars with me so she could take the baby and Felix to his hip-hop lesson. I took the rest of the kids home and then India to tap. After which I went with some wonderful relief society sisters down to the esplanade and had sushi :) yummm.
As I sat at the esplanade with these sisters (it was for my visiting teaching lesson) talking about the temple I felt so uplifted. Being around good people and talking about righteous goals and aspirations is so motivating. The temple is where I want to go, that I know without a shadow of a doubt.
The ladies and I wrapped up or conversation and then headed over to the church building for institute and such. The lesson tonight was good. I wish that during class some people could just sit and listen, be uplifted and yearn to know more; instead of talking and whispering to their neighbors. It's hard to pay attention when the people next to you keep taking out there phones and texting, loudly. If it was every once in a while I could understand, I am guilty of that, though the iPhone is quite silent as far as texting goes., but when it's constant it is rude. Yes, I get annoyed sometimes but I get over it, I was still able to get lots out of the lesson and that is what matters, I am not in charge of the adults around me.
Overall my day was lovely and I am thankful for it all. I've had the opportunity to open my mouth about the Gospel this past week and it has been wonderful. Because of the challenge that I made to myself I was able to talk to the kids about obedience and sacrifice. As I took India to dance yesterday we had a good conversation about why I keep the word of wisdom, why I don't take the Lord's name in vain and why I go to church. I feel like I need to share this amazing gift with her, but at the same time I don't know if she understands any of it. With all my might, I try to make it simple but when it comes out I feel like it's jumbled. I know that what I am saying is true and right but is it something a 7 year old can comprehend or pick up? That I don't know. In my heart I just pray that in some way I am able to make an impression on her. Not listening to music and staying away from facebook has been a good experience. At first I didn't know how it was going to impact me but it has helped me to talk about the Gospel and share my testimony in many different situations. Needless to say, my challenge went well. I reckon I will do things like this more often. Being a good example is what I strive to be and surrounding myself with good people is something I love. A little bit of a side note; I am so grateful for the people in my life who have helped me gain a stronger testimony. Some who have helped me I still talk to today, others not so much; but, all in all I am still thankful. "The boys," they know who they are, helped me during high school to realize just how much fun it can be to be a good example. When they left I learnt from other people how blessed I am to have to Gospel in my life through those who were lost with out it. Also I learnt who I can lean on when the waves seem to be pushing you strongly towards the jetty. Then going into the singles ward I was taught by many, one in particular, Johnny Hoy, that gaining knowledge of the Gospel is exciting and so rewarding. I've just been so blessed and I don't think I can say it enough. It's nice to realize these kinds of things, it makes life that much more beautiful.

We used this ring in a photo shoot last month and I fell in love with it. It isn't as pretty as the picture above, the temple, but it still caught my attention. Wouldn't it be nice to be given this ring from the boy, man, who will take me to the temple. lovely.

To Go Or Not To Go?

2009-09-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

That is a very good question. Next weekend, not this coming one but the following one, while Pip and Fraser are gone, India has a dance competition in Townsville. If we went we would be going on Saturday with the Thallons and then only staying until Sunday night. This would mean that I would get to spend time with the Thallons before I leave but that I would miss church, a fireside and the opportunity to spend time with my fellow church members before I return home. I just don't know what to do. Pip said that it's not a big deal if India doesn't go, she only has once dance to perform on Sunday and it would be kind of pointless to just be there for the one day. India is supposed to be there on Saturday as well, that day she has 3 or 4 dances but I wouldn't want to drive 3 and a half hours there by myself. I don't know the area very well, heck, I got lost last night going somewhere I've been a handful of times ha. The hard part is that the Thallons will be leaving on the 26th of this month for Gabe's brother's wedding down in Brisbane and they won't be returning until the 4th, meaning that they won't be here when I leave :( Because of that I think it would be nice to spend time with them by going to Townsville. But, again, I love church and I don't think I could bare to miss it, or the people that I get to associate with there. See what a dilemma I'm in? It's hard being me ha. I just don't know what to do. The fireside I will be missing, if I go, is going to amazing.. ahh. Someone help me. I'm stuck.

What I Reckon.

2009-09-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

I reckon I'm going to miss Cairns. Today I woke up early to go to the gym only to find out that the keys weren't in the car like normal, so I just got a head start on my daily routine. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, ate my breacky and read my scriptures. It was nice to start early this morning, though I was bummed I didn't get to go to my spin class. Everything turned out okay, Pip and I went for a nice LONG walk in the afternoon. Let me tell you what, the weather is definitely starting to warm up, holy moly! The sun beat down but it felt so good today, not too hot just yet. Zoe came home early from school today, she had an ear ache and they ended up having to wash her ear out, interesting stuff. She just rested for a while and talked with Pip and I. After our walk Pip and I went out separate ways and got ready for the rest of the day. When It was time, I went and got the kids from school. No dramas there, I only had to pick up India and Felix; Xav went with his dad and Zoe was already home. The trouble began when we got home. As always, India refused to do her homework, said it was "boring." She told me that she didn't understand why she had to do it and that if I wanted it done so badly that I should just do it myself. Little miss India can be a challenge at times. She once told Fraser that she acts up because life is just too boring. Boring is her favorite word, though I've been trying to take it out of her vocabulary. After much struggle I left it alone and just made sure she didn't get anything until she sat down and did her homework. Felix and I worked on his dairy cattle project, which is looking very nice, as I held miss Matilda Daisey. Pip and I struggled with India but decided to leave that work for Fraser to take on, he is the only one that effects her.

I'm not sure what became of the India situation, I ended up going to the BBQ at Tropic Days. After getting lost, while actually circling around the place I needed to be, I found Tropics and had a lovely time. Meeting new people is one of my hobbies I guess you could say. It's so nice to talk with people from all different walks of life, those who walk on all different parts of the world, it's amazing. I'm proud to say that I am now working my way up the seniority list, as far as being here the longest goes. Before whenever the conversation would turn to how long I'd been in Australia, everyone would have me beat by a long shot, I'm getting up there though and I don't find too many people that top me. The food at the BBQ was good, as always and the entertainment was just as good or better. Gabe knows how to put on a show and get everyone laughing. Tonight in the didgeridoo competition there was a girl from LA, go USA! She didn't win but it's okay, it was nice to see California being represented, that was a first for me to witness. I've been here almost 6 months and I've never attempted to play a didgeridoo, I'm lame. Failure is not one of my many joys in life and I feel that that's exactly what I would do as soon as I blew in a didgeridoo. I will try one before I return home though, I must; even if I do end up bringing one home, which I am also going to try very hard to do. Having one in our home would be awesome, then everyone could give it a go.

In this photo you will find a didgeridoo show down. These two competitors tied so they had a "play off." Gabe is playing the clap sticks in the middle for them, to keep the rhythm.

Next week I will be all on my lonesome with India and Felix. I'm excited yet a little bit nervous. Things can't get too crazy or out of hand, I just don't want it to be solid week of struggling. Fraser and Pip deserve this holiday and I am going to hold down the fort to the best of my ability. Wish me luck, I may need it.

This photo is of the front of Travellers Oasis, Kathy and Gabe's other hostel here in Cairns. Beautiful.

Fraser does some amazing wrought iron work, one piece is the sign in the background, "Travellers Oasis." It's gorgeous isn't it? He's done many different projects for the Thallon's hostels recently. Here is a picture of Gabe, Fraser and Kathy in front of Travellers, this was taken for a newspaper article which featured the two hostels and the remodeling that was done.

Fast Sunday.

2009-09-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Today was fast Sunday and it was incredible. Yes, I did find it a little bit hard to fast at the beginning of the day but as I went to church I no longer felt that hunger. It was interesting to me as I realized that this is a normal sort of pattern that happens on these blessed Sabbath days. As I go to church and partake of the Sacrament I am truly able to feel spirit and it comforts me into forgetting what my body wants. Testimony meeting was good, to say the least, I enjoyed it so very much. Though as I went off to church this morning it came to my attention that this really is my last fast and testimony meeting here. I don't know how to feel about it all, it's so bitter sweet. I had the privilege of teaching the Sunday school lesson today. As I taught of the trials of the early saints and their perseverance my heart was so full. They labored and sacrificed so much so that we could have temples and the Gospel could be spread throughout the world, it's amazing. The Salt Lake Temple has never looked so pretty to me as it did today when I showed the class a picture of it and spoke of the arduous labor that was involved in the construction. Our foundations need to be as strong as the Salt Lake Temples, sure and steady, ready for anything that comes our way; though I do hope we never have to cover or hide it for any one or anything.
Another reason why today was so special; it was Fathers Day. People bore their testimonies on many different aspects of the Gospel but it seemed that most, as it should on this day, turned to the blessings of fathers. Speaking of fathers and blessings, my father is amazing and wonderful. Happy Fathers Day again daddy! I can't even begin to say how grateful I am to have a loving father on this earth, whom I know I can turn to at any time. As I think of going home, I think of my father and the great joy that will fill my heart when I not only get to see him but when I get to be encompassed in his arms. I just can't wait.
Here in Australia I have had a mighty good father for the duration of my stay. He, Fraser, has been lovely to be around and I am thankful for his kindness as well. He welcomed me into this home and helped me settle in. It just goes to show that the Lord knows us. I was blessed to be put in a good home here. No, they are not members of the church but they have been good to me and have helped me to realize the importance of family, what a little help around the house can do and how respect is key to any relationship, among many other things. Plus, there is a church building right around the corner from my home here, the Lords hand takes part in everything that we do.
Blessings are all around me. I was asked to give the lesson in Sunday school again next week. Then I was asked to give a talk for Sacrament, next week. THEN I was asked, or reminded rather, to give the lesson in relief society; I've been giving the lesson in RS every 2nd week for a few months now. Full on, I know. I ended up passing the buck to Henry, a boy in YSA, to give the lesson in Sunday school but promised I would teach again the week before I leave, which is only two Sundays away! This means I will still be giving a talk and teaching RS, which I don't mind at all; My worry is that everyone will be all Ashlynded out. I'm excited though, "it's bound to be amazing"(a famous Kara saying).

I feel my Saviors love. In all the world around me.

Jazz In The Park.

2009-09-05T04:25:00.000-07:00

We went to jazz in the park tonight. I guess one could say it was a good time. For me, the ability to enjoy yourself ultimately depends on the people you are with. Yes, I know, you have to make your own fun but there are times when you know that things would be so much better if there was just good conversation. Do you get what I mean? I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy myself or that there wasn't good conversation, there was in deed but as I sat there I thought back to my friends in California and how no matter where we were, we always had a blast. I guess I shouldn't have made a comparison because then I would have nothing to say on the subject besides the fact that it was a fantastic atmosphere and I was surrounded by good people. Zoe and Xavier went with their father tonight, seeing as tomorrow is Father's Day here, so they were not with us. India, Felix and Tills were there though and, from what I saw, I believe they enjoyed themselves. After about an hour Matilda fell asleep in my arms so I had the pleasure of holding the little angel in my arms for the rest of the night. As we sat under the sky, surrounded by trees and people, with nice music being played I got to enjoy the comfort that comes with holding a little one in your arms. Fraser leaned over to rub Tilly's head and he softly mentioned how there's just something special about holding a sleeping baby, that it helps you feel inner peace. That's exactly what it does, gives you inner peace. It was a nice feeling. I get to hold little sleeping Matilda a lot, as Pip says, I have "the touch." Somehow I am able to get Tilly to sleep quite well, it's such a blessing. After a good day I am now going to head to bed so I can get up in the morning and finish working on my Sunday school lesson I'm teaching tomorrow.

P.S. Day three has come and gone of my challenge to myself and I'm still holding strong. I'm finding that I have so much more time to think. In some ways this is good but in others, not so good. I tend to think a lot anyways and now I have even more time to run through things over and over. In the end, it will all be good and I think I may take on some more challenges for myself, they are good learning and growing experiences.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

2009-09-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday. Good day. I went to a spin class in the morning, which seems to help make my days better, and then just did some running around. Normal duties of the day, apart from taking Pip and Fraser to the races. It was good all in all. I got to go to sports night at church :) where I believe I fell in love with a missionary, not allowed I know. He's a way cool kid who is originally from Riverside but moved to Utah a few years ago before he left on his mission. Anyways, yes he is dreamy but I will move on because, like I said, it's not allowed. I didn't have to be so humble this week at volley ball because my team didn't do so bad, though I can't really say I contributed much, it was probably my worst night of volley ball here in Australia. Life went on though and I got to eat sushi for dinner, I was a happy girl.
Today, Saturday, has, thus far, been very good; productive yet, not so much. I booked my flights! I can't believe it is actually happening. So strange to think that the life I have been living I will leave behind in 4 weeks time. I'm leaving Cairns for Sydney on the 2nd of October, less then four weeks away, and then I will will Sydney on the 6th homeward bound. Oh the joys and wonders of it all. I don't know how to feel or react. I am excited to go home, see my family and friends and get back to work and school. On the other hand I am also sad because I have gotten use to life here and I've been showered with and blessed with wonderful people who have loved and cared for me, I will miss them heaps. The kids are full on at times but they mean so much to me. I talked to "the possible new aupair" today on the phone. Her name Tatum and lives in LA. She sounded like a nice girl and I got to have a good chat to her, gave her a quick run down of what goes on. I know that I will be replaced but I don't really want to think of it that way, I guess I just want the family to always like me and not have anyone to compare me too ha; selfish of me I know. Now that my flights are book I have to find out where to stay and what I will be doing in Sydney, it's going to be awesome! I've heard so many good things about Sydney. YEE :)

What Happens When You DO.

2009-09-03T04:17:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day of no facebook or music. I remembered! Every time I would have normally put on music or gone on facebook I was quickly reminded of my promise I made. I can see the good things happening already and I am so excited for this next week. In the car with the kids this morning we played a game instead of listening to music, which was loads of fun and then on my way home, by myself, I sang church songs... that doesn't count as listening to music right? I think I will answer that myself. NO. It was uplifting and definitely did not take me away from thinking of my Savior. I actually had a rather good experience. As I sung to myself, "One spring morning in a grove. One boy seeking truth foretold. The Heavens opened he was heard. One prayer answered changed the world," tears came to my eyes and I just felt as though I knew at that moment that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. Not to say that I didn't know before, but a very strong confirmation was given to me. It's always nice to be reminded that what you are doing is right and what you believe is true.
As far as the events go for my day... nothing too exciting occurred. I watched Tilly, made some yummy muffins and went to Centrals to deposit some money in the bank. My day was relaxing I would have to say and I was glad I got to get out of the house for a little while, it was nice. When the kids got home from school I helped Felix with a project he is doing on dairy cows, I learned some cool things, and then him and I went for a nice run. Well, to be honest, I jogged while he rode his bike. I was proud of myself though. I ran to the red arrow, did it, then ran around the the Lakes (a resort) and back home. No one reading this will even know where or what the heck I am talking about but I think you should just be proud because I jogged for a long time. My goal for myself the whole time was to not stop running and I succeeded, even through the hill at the end to the house. We returned home red faced, huffing and puffing but it was good all in all. That meant I didn't have to go to the gym :) After arriving home we both took showers and got ready to go to dinner at the Bowls Club with the family, Jonnie and Suzie. Dinner was lovely, it made a good end to a great day.

Funny story for you all.
A couple weeks ago we went through a cheerio kick and all the kids ate them every morning for breakfast, which is unusual because they like to make the more difficult requests like eggs and bacon. As the week began to wind down I think the kids appetites for cheerios did too. It seemed that none of the children were able to finish their bowls of cereal and Pip and I hate to waste anything, which means we usually end up guilting ourselves into eating whats left and spoiling our own breacky. We tried and tried to convince each of them to finish up as they came to the sink, at separate times, with their half fulls bowls. None of them were keen on the idea and i cringed as I dumped it all in the rubbish. On this particular day India was staying, the reason I can't remember, and she didn't eat until I went down stairs to have my own breakfast. I knew she was having cheerios because I poured her bowl before I set off downstairs. I thought that she would sit down, eat and that would be that; that's what I thought. Little did I know what was really going on. I came back upstairs when I finished my daily morning routine and pottered around the house cleaning up here and there. I had to go to the toilet, not that you wanted to know but this is crucial information. As I walked in to use the dunny I looked down and what did I behold? A toilet bowl full of cheerios! I didn't know what that was all about so I just decided to not use that bathroom and went to the boys instead. In my mind I though India must have done it because she didn't want to finish hers, just like all the others. Later I found out that Pip had done it because she didn't want me to see that SO many cheerios had been wasted that morning, she knew I would feel bad.

Thoughts After Institute.

2009-09-02T04:25:00.001-07:00

Today's been good. I started it off with a visit to the gym, a spin class that kicked my boootay. When my alarm went off I was very tempted to just stay in bed but I forced myself to get up and I'm very glad I did. It helped me feel good and start my day off right. I needed it. Tilly had some good sleeps this arvo and she made me laugh loads all day, she's just so dang cute. Then tonight I got to go to institute, which was amazing. Learning and building my testimony makes me want to be a better person. Tonight Brother Smith asked us to give up something that we love for a week. I don't really know what to do. The computer is something that I have been using and spending a lot of time on but I don't know if that would be good for me to give up for a week, it's my communication with everyone. Another thing I was thinking about would be music, it's something I absolutely love. I did that once before though, well I decided to spend the week only listening to church music. To be honest, it was one of the greatest things I have ever done. Being able to make such a commitment was wonderful and empowering. I listened to church music to pump me up for water polo, to comfort me when I was lonely, to make me smile, even when I was just plain bored and needed something to fill the silence. It was lovely and before I knew it others were following along. I think I will do that again. It's a good thing. If I take the kids to school in morning I try to turn the music off on my way home and just talk, out loud, to my Heavenly Father. The days that I do that I feel so much more in tune and I reckon if I did it always, maybe not always talking to myself but thinking of spiritual things, I would be so much more at ease with life. Sometimes I get so caught up in whats going on or how frustrated I am, that I forget to smile and remember all of the good things I have in my life, which outweighs the bad by a long shot. Maybe I will do this... I will only listen to church music and only allow myself to use the computer to communicate with my family, no one else. I think that sounds good. I'm not going to let myself spend hours responding to comments or "cyber stocking" people on facebook ha. There you have it. I've made my choice. No facebook. No worldly music. I will keep you posted on how it all goes. I hope I can remember to do these things. At times I am willing, I just forget, it's sad and it shouldn't be that way but it's the truth.

I'm so grateful that I was born into the church. I've been so blessed. I have the confidence, the knowledge and surety and the comfort that so many long for, for that I should be a better missionary and share the Gospel more. Never should I feel afraid or discouraged about sharing what I know to be true. Caroline, a friend of Pip's, said on Sunday, while she sat and talked with Pip and on I, that she wished she could be more like me. She explained that not many people, my age or otherwise, have such strong beliefs in anything and that she wished she was in a place in her life where she thought she knew where she belonged. It made me think. As she said this I tried to make it a missionary moment and share with her little bits of the Gospel but because it was a three-way conversation I wasn't able to get many words in. Despite that, I felt as though I had actually made an impression on someone. I have been told a few times, since I've been here, that it's impressive the way I go to church and stay away from alcohol even though I am away from home and have no one pushing me. Those comments are what I long for I guess, assurance that I don't have to blend in to be accepted. People look up to those who have a strong sense of who they are and where they are going. I sure as heck don't know what career path I'm going to take but I know without a shadow of a doubt what kind of person I want to be and I have many, high, goals and standards that I WILL live up to. I want to be unshakable.

The end of another day. Tomorrow begins a new :)

"What you think when you're alone determines your virtue."

Children Are Our Future.

2009-09-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

why I love Australia.
Isn't it gorgeous?

Last night I had the opportunity to meet Pip's parents, Suzie and Jonnie, for the first time. They live on the Sunshine Coast and are here in Cairns visiting for a week. In my opinion, they are very nice people and I'm so thankful that they were so welcoming towards me. I felt as though I got their approval, not that I needed it, and I think they were able to see the role I play and the helping hand I give. It was a pleasant experience. After dinner with the family last night I came into my room and did some searching online for a plane ticket home. It looks as though I will be leaving here on the 5th, going to Sydney for two days and then leaving for sweet California on the 7th. That sounds like a great plan to me, lets hope it works out. Money may be tight but I really think I need to take advantage of the fact that I am here in Australia and make my way to Sydney before coming home, I don't know if I will ever have this opportunity again. Life's short.

Yesterday Pip and I were having a little chat, as we always do, and the subject of children came up. She was saying that she doesn't know how people live without having kids, that she doesn't understand why some people don't want to have children. It got me thinking. I don't know why either, it seems that life would be pretty pointless if I never had the goal of having children in my future. What is it that you live for or work hard for if not children? Some days, when the kids are being right pains, I tell myself that I don't know how I will ever have kids. But honestly and truly I don't know what I want more in life, well besides a husband, I need that to start with ha. Children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Just a couple photos..

Sunset on the day I went to Uncle Brian's Tour.

Matilda today, don't you love her outfit?

My Little Lovie.

2009-08-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

This is Matilda Daisey. She is precious and she puts a smile on my face. I get to watch her every day and I'm thankful for it. Even when you feel down and out, you can't help but smile or giggle when you look at this bundle of joy. She's 8 months old. She claps, worm crawls and is now starting to stand up. I'm amazed at her quick progression.

I'm getting into this blog now and I'm stoked I finally learned how to put pictures up ha. Yay me!

Friends Make Me Happy

2009-08-31T18:20:00.000-07:00

The day is only just begun but I feel like I have accomplished much already. This is due to the fact that I have been reading so many peoples blogs and I feel "connected" to home. Being able to find out what's going on in peoples lives back home gives me comfort somehow. I never knew this whole blog thing was so popular, I'm grateful that it is, it brings me joy. I miss my family and friends, this much is true but I truly have gained new ones here, of which may or may not last forever. I know that I will always keep in touch with the McCulloch's, they have been so good to me and have become like a second family. Just this morning Pip and Fraser were discussing plans of going to Bali before I leave, as a vacation for them, and they were trying to figure out when would be the perfect time to get away. It made me happy to know that they wouldn't go towards the end of September because they wanted to have more days to spend with me before I go back home. What a blessing it has been to come into a home where the family loves me, sometimes thing are difficult and feelings get hurt but at the end of the day I know that they don't want me to leave. When the kids talk about me leaving they all say that I'm not allowed to go home, that I have to stay here. Oh how I wish I could agree to their commands. Life here has been good for me, hard but good, though this is true I know that I have a lot waiting for me and there are responsibilities I must get back to. "Getting away" has been incredible and I know I will never ever forget my time here. I've learned so much about the Gospel here and my testimony has grown so much, it's a wonderful feeling. At moments I questioned whether this was the right thing to do, felt as though I turned my back on people and relationships I should have been strengthening. With all my might I have to tell myself not to do such things, this is where I needed to be and I know that. I know it because of my testimony and my faith, which is stronger then it has ever been. My family will be there for me when I get home and my friends, those who are worth it, will be there also. I've learned that some people just don't deserve to be part of our lives and worries. I don't regret coming here, I never will, though I do regret the moments I spent pondering the "what ifs." There's a reason why people don't make it to your future. Things will fall into place when I get home, I know it. I'm so blessed to have been able to get into classes so that I will be able to further my education and prepare for my future, I'm excited! Though I don't know where life will take me I'm excited. There are many paths, career paths that is, that I can take, I'm not sure which one will make the most happy but I am dieing to find out!

Good Weekend.

2009-08-30T00:53:00.000-07:00

I've had a glorious weekend I must say. I went to sports night on Friday at the church, where we played rounds upon rounds of Volleyball. My team was alright I guess, nothing too amazing. I don't loose well, so it was a very humbling experience for me :) I loved it nonetheless and I'm glad I went. After vollying it up I got invited by my friend Denise to go and stay the night at her house. Of course, I accepted the offer. She dropped me by the house so I could get my things and tell Pip and Fraser my plans and then we were off to her house. The night was full of laughs and talking, I enjoyed myself. Another girl, Emma, stayed over as well, though she fell asleep early on while Denise and I stayed up talking until around 2 in the morning. We made good conversation and, when it came time to lay down, I fell right to sleep. I woke to a beautiful morning, had cereal and then made plans for the day with Denise. We talked it over and decided that we would go and see Harry Potter in the theaters then grab some lunch. Before we were able to leave we took her mother and sister to the store to grab some things, then we set off on our adventures. Emma ended up having to go to Uni to finish an assignment that she was working on so she wasn't able to come with us. No dramas there though, we had a blast. The movie was amazing, just as it was the other two times I've seen it ha. As we left the cinemas my voice started getting really scratchy and rough but I charged on. I got a sandwich from a place called Healthy Habits and we ate peacefully, due to the fact that we were peckish by that time. When the food was gone we had a wonder through the mall, Cairns Central, and got a few little hair accessories. Then we headed back to her house to check and see how her mum was going. Emma was back at her house by the time we got there so it was perfect timing. We hung out there for a while then later on went to the Airport to say goodbye to some mates of Emma's that came for a visit from Perth. Being at the airport gave me the butterflies, I'm getting so anxious to come home, yay! I just can't wait to see everyone, it's going to be a wonderful day. Emma's mates, Charlie and April boarded the plane and then we left for the night markets to grab some dinner, Sushi, the best I've had yet. Us girls sat and chatted while we ate and watched the passerby's. As we got back into the car to go to Denise someone made mention of The Little Mermaid and Emma was keen on watching it so we went to the video shop and it, along with some other films. As we ventured back to Denise's with the music loud, I tried to sing but by that time my voice was pretty shot, the scratchy throat did not go away from earlier, it only got worse. We relieved our childhood a little bit and then ended up watching another movie, though we were very sleepy. Sometimes I'm not sure why I do things ha. That was the end of my Saturday and I was ready to close my eyes and be done, rest my voice and prepare for a good Sunday. Emma took me home in the morning, which would make it today. Nothing too exciting happened today though. Church was wonderful, I loved it! I'm always uplifted and I continue to gain knowledge. After church I came back home and hung around for a bit and when it got dark I went for a walk with Pip, Felix, India and Matilda. I was thinking of going for a walk on my own, just so I could stick my iPod in and listen to some church music while getting come fresh air. As I announced my plans to Pip, I didn't want to just leave and them not know where I was, Fraser told Pip that she should go to. That idea I didn't mind, though going by myself was my original plan. In the end the kids wanted to go and once they want something they don't give it up easily, so before I knew it, my "alone spiritual time" became a family night walk. It turned out fine, though India was "tired" most of the walk. She complained and winged, as we thought she would. To keep her mind off being puffed out we played a game. The objective of the game was to come up with one word that is associated with the word the person before you stated. Pip started us off, though I don't remember what she said. It got pretty interesting, that best one was, I said, "beautiful" and Felix then said, "mummy." So cute. Another day has come and gone, I'm glad to say that today was a good one. One day soon I will be writing from home :)

"Inside the Bible's pages lie all the answers to all the problems man has ever known. I hope Americans will read and study the Bible.... It is my firm belief that the enduring values presented in it's pages have a great meaning for each of us and for our nation. The Bible can touch our hearts, order our minds, and refresh our souls."
- Ronald Reagan

"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."
-Dumbledore

P.S.

2009-08-27T03:52:00.000-07:00

In case any of you were wondering.
I did chop my hair off and it's treating me well. I didn't like it at first, just because it was weird and so different from how it was. I've learned to love it and work with it. I'm kind of leaving it as a surprise for when I come home. Not that it's exciting or anything, I know no ones dieing to see it, but I think I am just going to keep it on the low down as far as pictures go. It's been weeks since I did it so I will be needing a trim coming up here in a little bit. It will be nice and short when I get home, be prepared.

Again, I love you!

My birthday wishes, notes, comments, messages... they were all so lovely and I'm thankful for every one of them, they helped make my day.

Such is LIfe.

2009-08-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

5 and half more weeks here! Can you believe that? It amazes me to think that I have been here for almost 6 months but at the same time, it feel like ages since I've been home. My birthday has come and gone, last week. I'm nineteen now! Hooray for me getting older. I wasn't sure how I was going to take it, being away from family isn't easy when special occasions come around. Things went well I am happy to report. I got up and when I went upstairs they had presents waiting for me on the table, I went out to lunch, and also out to dinner with the McCullochs and the Thallon's. PLUS some friends of mine from my branch stopped by to bring me balloons and a gift, so sweet. I have been blessed, more then I deserve. This past weekend was a little bit rough, I had a bad tooth ache and an ear infection but through prayers and a good sleep I'm feeling well and think I will make it until I get home :) I know that there was so many things I was going write about but now that I am actually sitting down to do it, I can't think of anything. Oh yes, right now Festival Cairns is going on! Pip does all the PR work for it so I get to know whats going on all the time. Last Saturday I went to a parade, got to sit in VIP seats and then go to a little "after party" event for the important people. It was very nice, the food at the after party was divine, I was stuffed from grabbing little things here and there off of the trays when the waiters would walk past. The children are going well. School is still in session but they will be on holiday mid September, which means my time here is winding down. Lets see here.. I've been reading Harry Potter, of which I saw the 6th movie twice in the theaters. I love reading these days. I finished the 4th Harry Potter yesterday and have to wait until I go over to the Thallon's again before I can get the next one. Today I didn't really know what to do with my down time, I've gotten so use to reading.. Not that I need to read the series again, I just like it so much. Anyways, Life is going well. I can't wait to be home but I know that I shouldn't wish my time away here because who's to say I will ever get the opportunity to come down here again. I hope and pray that you all are doing well, taking care of yourselves. I miss you ALL! I'm learning what a right pain I must have been, now that I'm the one tending to washing and doing dishes. I don't know how my father did it all the time. I've promised myself and my father that when I get home I will be a bigger help around the house with the little things, that really begin to add up. Much love to you all!

FOREVER STRONG- Kia Kaha

LIFE'S A DANCE..

2009-07-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I get worse and worse at this for some reason. I don't know why I can't keep up with this blog. It's boggles my mind. Anyways...
Life has been going fairly well. I got out to the Tablelands and to the reef last month! It was beautiful and amazing! I truely can't explain just how gorgeous it is here. While out on the reef tour I tried scube diving, tried ha. Going down at first was a bit nerve wrecking but I got use to it and was until one of the members of my group started having problems with her mask, then it all went down hill and I was determined to make it to the top of the water, I forgot to breathe. Forgetting to breather is never a good thing and it really did me so for the rest of the day I stuck with snorkeling, which was amazing as well, though I really wish I would have been sucessful on my dive, I will try again one day. Since my "vacation" I have been making it a point to get out of the house more and do things because I don't want to miss a thing. Cairns is a good place and has a lot to offer, I never knew so many backpackers existed! When the McCulloch's got home things were funny at first but we've made it through and things are back to normal. India is still a right pain in my bumb, though I love her and have a soft spot for her, and the other kids are moving right along. We have our good times and our "not so good times" and I'm happy to report that I'm grateful for it all. I continue to learn more and more the longer I stay here and I've come to love the church more then ever, a task I didn't know was possible. I've taught a couple lessons and participated in a few musical numbers in Cairns 2nd Branch and I couldn't be happier with church at the moment, it's made me who I am and I would NEVER change it! It's been finalized, I will be returning home the first week of October. I'm hoping to start some classes then and go back to work at the lovely and oh so glamorous Submarina ha. I can't wait to get "the show on the road." Silly me, I thought that this was going to be the starting of my life, but it has yet to begin. I've enjoyed the journey very much and I will forever remember this experience but I know what's important and where I want to be, where home is. I'm still the same little Ashy B and I try to keep it that way. People here have seen all sides of me and I am proud to say that I let the wacky side shine through quite often. I'm living life and trying to love it, it's easy most days, but some catch me off gaurd. I miss and love my family and friends... Can't wait to see all of your wonderful faces. This time away has shown me just how lucky I am and how good I have it. I'm so proud of my siblings; Alexa, Taylor, Nolan and Dean. They make me smile whenever I talk to them and they have all grown so much since I have left, they don't need me :( I hope you all are doing well! I'm sedning you my love..... and no promise that I will write soon, I don't like to break my promises.

Ashy B

Just a little side note.. I'm thinking of chopping my hair off, maybe make things a little bit more exciting. We shall see if I am brave enough to do it.

LONG time no talk.

2009-06-16T04:25:00.001-07:00

Again and again I apologize for never writing. So here I go again, I'm SO very sorry. It's amazing how busy life gets sometimes. I've just been working up a storm here. Living and Laughing. Some things I've done since the last time I wrote, I went to the ballet A Midsummer Nights Dream, I watched a few Highland and Irish dance competitions and I've been learning how to drive stick shift! Things are good here in Australia and I am moving right along, going with the flow. I've gotten into a nice routine and it's made things a whole lot easier, knowing what to do and where to go. Having been here almost three months I can honestly say that I have a good handle on things and have become a part of the McCulloch family. Both Felix and Zoe have had birthdays since I last wrote and we held little get-togethers for both of them. Zoe had her party at the Lakes Resort, which is a beautiful place. She invited a couple friends to come with her and hang out for a Friday afternoon and then a sleepover that night. I, being the adlt supervision, got to stay the night with the girls at the hotel. I enjoyed myself, relaxed in my room and by the pool, while the girls danced around and had a good ol' time. It was nice to be a part of it all but not really have to do much ha. Felix's birthday was another story, the night of his actual birthday we ate pizza and cake, WAY too much for me and then the weekend after Fraser took him and two friends to see the Monster Trucks. As for the rest of the kids, they are doing well. Matilda is as cute as ever, she's sitting up now and likes to roll around. She's getting to the stage where you can't leave her on the bed to kick around because now there is the fear she might roll off, all is well though, she can get away with it because of her good looks ha. Tilly has a way of making everyone smile, as most babies do. Xavier is a crack up, always loosing things and never really paying attention to what goes on, I like to call him a space case. He has to be told everything 10 times because he can't be bothered to pay attention the first 9 times you say it, not because he's trying to be rude, he just gets so distracted by EVERYTHING! Then there's India.. oh boy. She has been a struggle for me and her mood swings give me whiplash but I guess at the end of the day she's not my child ha. No that sounds bad. She's just very stubborn and strong willed, thinks she knows everything and always wants whatever you don't offer at the time. I have seen and felt the love that India has for others, she can be very genuine but when she's not being very sweet, she is ridiculously hard to handle. It's not just me that has trouble with her, everyone does. The other day I told her it was time to sit down and get her homework done but she insisted that she didn't need to do it and that she wouldn't until I gave her two Sherek Quests (A magazine she prescribed to, I hold them hostage in my room as an incentive for her to be good). The deal we made was that I would give her one if she sat down and did her homework, then she tried to one up me and say that she would do it for two. That wasn't going to fly with me so I didn't agree. India then proceeded to ask Pip if she could have two but was shot down yet again. She threw a fit and said that she wasn't going to do her homework until I agreed to it. Pip told her that she needed to leave the room because she was being annoying. India liked this and saw it as an opportunity to get what she wanted, she stood tall and said, "well then I will just annoy you until you give in and let me have two Sherek Quests." She's a tough cookie and gave us a run for our money but in the end we won. It's just hard to lay the law to a child when the parent is standing 5 feet away, I don't like haveing to get cross, but sometimes they deserve it. I'm trying to be consistant and I think that Pip and Fraser are beginning to really cetch on, they are seeing now how disrespectfil the kids can be at times and they don't stand for it anymore. We'll see how it all works out.
I am, personally, doing farely well. I really have gotten use to everything here and it's made the world of a difference. It's nice to have access to a car and a gym membership. Working out has been my escape here, as it was back home. I love being able to drive to the gym, listen to my iPod and feel good. Church has also been a good, safe place for me. I continually learn more and more about the Gospel and my love for it grows every day. My life hasn't been an easy one thus far and I am just amazed at where I am now, it shows me just how much the Lord has helped me in my life, I am able to see the workings of MY Father in Heaven. I just finished the Book of Mormon for the first time while I've been here and it was incredible. I have to say that it was the first time I have read it through and understood it, what an amazing book it is. My institute teacher once mentioned that there is no other book the face of the Earth that challenges all those who read to ask God if it be true with a promise that He will tell you if it be so. I took that to heart and it has helped me to KNOW that it is true! Many apostles and prophets have said that it is not enough to merly believe, we must know, and I do! I've been involved in chior at church and I love it, there are so many musically inclined members here in Cairns. The is a fireside coming up that the two branches are putting on and I have been given the opportunity to sing with the chior in it and to sing "Jesus Was No Ordinary Man" with a few other girls in my branch. I am so excited! I love singing, especially church songs, they bring such a strong spirit with them and I can't wait for the fireside, it's bound to be amazing!
Well everyone, I am going to get to bed now. I've been getting up extra early and going to the gym, to this spin class that is amazing. Tomorrow the family is leaving on holiday to Bali, leaving me here for two weeks. I am excited to have some, much needed, time to myself, though I will miss having the family around. For the next two weeks I plan on getting out and seeing different things. I will let you all know what goes on. Today a friend of mine started a blog and he was so excited because he's never really kept a journal, it made me feel quilty because I have one and I never write in it, it's made me want to be a lot more consistant. We shall see how it goes ha. I love you all! Thank you for all of your support, it's helped me more then words can tell. Take care!

Ashy B

Just A Little Something..

2009-05-01T03:58:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell you guys...
This is mostly for my family because they will appreciate this. I just want you to know that I have been doing very well about my eating. Not that I am eating healthy, just that I am eating what is given me. Two Mondays ago I went to a barbeque at the Thallons hostel and I ate Kangaroo, Emu, and Crocadile! At the house I eat whatever Faser prepares, which has included chicken made all different ways, pork and beef. Be proud! I hope to suprise you all when I return ha. I'm just realizing that life is better when you branch out and aren't so picky. It makes meals so much easier and more enjoyable when you at least give everything a try. I've found that I really like turkey sandwhiches with all different kinds of vegetables on them, including beatroot, which I love! I always picked out the beatroot in my greek salads before but I will do that no more. It's silly, I know, but it's a big deal to me!

Take care!

Ashy B

Sweet as..

2009-05-01T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hello :)

I appologize again and again for not doing this more often. I get so caught up in who I'm writing and what I'm doing. The past two weeks have been full of adventure and excitement ha. First off I am going to give you another list of names ha. These are friends of Pip and Fraser's, they're in some of my stories and I assume they will be in many more.

Kathy (mother and wife)
Gabe (father and husband)
Annie (17 years of age)
Molly(14 years of age)
Poppy (12 years of age)

They are a wonderful family and have been so kind to me. They own a hostel in town and are very adventurous and fun loving people. I believe I talked about them in an earlier post but I don't remember outlining it at all. If I did I appologize.
Last weekend was a big one for me I must say. I was able to get out and do a few things, tick some stuff off my list of things to do. Some things I've wanted to do but never thought I actually would, but I conquered them! Go me! I'm not being prideful, I'm just going to say that I am proud of myself. Last Friday was a good one. It was just a normal friday except I didn't go to sport night at the church :( I went to a birthday party for Poppy, she turned 12! It was a nice little party they held for her at the beach. Her and her friends went to a bungy jumping site after school on a little bus they rented, then they all loaded up again and headed to the beach. I enjoyed myself just hanging out with everyone and getting to have fun and relax, it was nice. As for Saturday... I woke up, ate and read. Then I made some phone calls to another daughter of Kathy and Gabe's, Annie, and their niece Clara. We had talked about going bungy jumping at Poppy's party and they were very keen on going the next day. So yes, I called them and we worked out rides, times and all that good stuff. It was deicded that I would drive out with Annie, she has her learners but because I have an open lisence she can legally drive with me. Then Clara headed out their with a group of friends for a birthday party. Annie and Gabe picked me up and then we took Gabe back to their house, this was going to be the first time Annie would drive without her parents in the car. When we got to the Thallons to drop Gabe off he made me a booking at the bungy sight, since they own the hostel I can get discounts by doing it through them, sweet deal huh? Right after that was all done Annie and I left. I was a little nervous when we got to the sight, didn't know what to think. As I waited in line to pay I questioned if I should do it or not, but then decided I had to or I would be dissappointed in myself. I payed then made my way up many sets of stairs. The stairs went on forever, they were like the ones you go up for a water slide, except they never ended ha. I would look down occasionally and I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. I reached the top finally and waited for a couple people to jump, then they put a harness on me. It hit me then what I was doing. I won't lie, I wasn't super scared until I got to the edge. Your feet are strapped together so you can't really walk, you have to waddle ha. I thought that I was going to fall off the platform while waddling to the edge but the man their had a good grip on me. I stood at the edge for only a short time, right when I had the go I went. I didn't want to stand there and make it worse for myself so I just reached out and jumped. It was a crazy feeling, falling down and down and down. There was a pond like thing below us with a man in a boat waiting for you when you were done to take you to the sidewalk. I got dunked in the water all the way to my knees, I was not expecting that at all, not many people hit the water. Aparently I was screaming really loud and then it was silent when I hit the water then as I came out the screaming started again ha. I didn't even realize I was screaming very loud. It was so cool. I can't even explain the feeling. It's scary as your falling at first but when you bounce back it's not bad at all, I found. Annie and I waited around for Clara to jump and then we left to get some lunch. Before we left we went to use to restroom and as I looked in the mirror I was digusted, it looked like I had mascara above and below my eyes. I tried with all my might to rub it off but it wouldn't go away. There were dots on my eye lids and then a smear below my left eye. I walked out and told Annie she was mean for not telling me it was there and asked if she could help me get it off. She tried and failed. Then she pointed out that it was purple. She said something like, "It's weird your mascara turned like a purple color on your eyelids..." Then as we got in the car I took a closer look and it turns out I either screamed a little too loud or the pressure from hitting the water caused some blood vessels around my eyes to pop! Crazy stuff. I look like a freak ha. Annie and I got McDonalds, I got a "heathly" chicken wrap and then we went to this place where they do cable skiing. It's like wake or knee boarding but not being pulled by boats, you're pulled by a cable through a course of jumps. It looked sweet but I sure as heck was not about to make a fool of myself. Originally Annie was going to meet friends there and do that for a bit but when we arrived they were leaving so she just showed me around and we followed suit. We went back to her house and hung out for a bit where she invited me to go see a local girl that she knows perform at an Italian food place. I told her I was keen so we worked that all out. She can't drive alone and Kathy didn't want to take me home so she said that I could just take the car back to the house and then come back around 7, when we needed to leave for the show. I drove all by myself for the first time!! It was exciting and I have to say I did well. I've gotten comfortable driving on the left side of the road just by driving with other people. I wasn't even scared and it didn't feel weird or anything. As I got back to the house Pip and Fraser were outside watching me drive up, they were shocked to see me driving. So yes, I got ready, got to talk to my dad on the phone :) and then left again to go to the show. The girl we saw did very well, I have a strong feeling that she will go big one day. The food was good as well, I am glad I got to go. I ended up getting her cd and having her sign it, just in case. Then we drove home and I took the car back to the house because again, Annie couldn't drive it home by herself. It was an exciting day!!! I don't think this weekend will live up to last but it's all good. Relaxing is a good thing. My week, since the bungy and driving has been a good one. I woke up early Monday through Wednesday and went excersing with Annie, which helped to start my days off well. I've been kind of bed ridden for the last two days though, not the most fun I've ever had. I will tell you why. It all started on Wednesday night. Wednesday was a good day and I got to go to institute, which I love so much! It helps my testimony grow every week and learn SO much. My teacher contines to amaze me every week. It was a good class and I am glad I went. I am just not so happy about my walking skills...
After being dropped off from institute at the house I was walking down the pathway and waving to my ride when a serious of unfortunate events occured. I forgot how long the pathway was and when I was supposed to turn right to get to the door. Instead of walking up the step I ended up in the fish pond in front of the house, not where I was meant to be at all. When I realized what was happening, I couldn't see anything cause it was so dark, I tried to catch myself but ended up not only to me knees in water but all the way up to my chest. Im an idiot I must say. I hurried and got myself out trying not to make noise. I wasn't sucessful though, from upstairs Pip called down to see if I was alright. Of course I didn't want to embarrass myself so I said I was fine and just pulled myself up. Then as I walked towards the door I realized my left ancle was a bit sore, I was soaking and I wasn't sure how to go about getting in the house. I set my purse and scripture case my the door, which I managed to save from getting wet and then I tried to take my schoes off. This was an arduoud task, they were matted to my feet from the water and the motions killed my ancle. Finally I got my shoes off so they didn't get everything wet, set my things down and turned on a light. I looked down at my ancle and total shock came over me, it was huge. I then had to either just take it like a champ and get over it or humble myself and call for Pip or Fraser. You probably guessed, I'm a wimp so I called for Pip but she was feeding the baby so Fraser came down to see what was going on. He looked at it and right away had me lay down and elevate it. They got me all set up and we iced it and elevated it like we should, decided we would wait till morning to see if the swelling went down, then we would see about going to a doctor. I did end up going to the doctors, then got x-rays and went back to the doctors. I just sprained it pretty good. I have the best luck ha.
I've been taking it easy since, trying to rest it and make the swelling go away. I like to be active and this is not working for me really. I've only been out of running and swimming for two days but I feel like it's been forever. My days just don't feel right unless I do something that gets my heart rate going and make me sweat a little, well usually a lot. It will be difficult but I will get over it. Swimming, I feel, would be easier on my ancle so I think I will have to give it a try, maybe tomorrow.
I love you all so very much, I truely do!!! California is such an amazing place and I know now that I don't ever want to live anywhere else. I'm not sure if it's because of how beautiful it is, the weather, or because all of you are there... but I do know that I love it! It's been good to get away and realize that but I don't think I ever need to do this again ha. With that said I just want you all to know that I am doing well here. I don't know when I am coming home. I was talking to my dad the other day about it all and the only was I can think to explain it is.. I am ready to come home whenever. If tomorrow they decided they didn't need me anymore I would jump for joy. BUT, I am doing well here and I am enjoying myself, and I will be here until I'm no longer needed. I love and miss you! My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. I've posted some pictures onto facebook.. It takes a long time to upload so if you get the chance, look them up on there. I think I can paste the link on here for them. I will do that in my next entry. LOVE YOU! Talk at you soon!

Ashy B

Sorry...

2009-04-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

So I just wrote a long post and was all excited to publish it. I hit publish post and it routed me to a page that said it couldn't find the server and now what I wrote, which took me an hour to write, is all gone. I will rewrite it all tomorrow. It's my new and exciting news on my advantures. Stay tuned folks, this one is good. I'm bummed that it's all gone. I was about to over react and get all upset but I'll be okay I guess and it just gives me another opportunity to relive it in my mind. I'm just trying to see some positive ha.
I love you all, more then you know and I am thankful for everyone of you! Let me know how things are going in your lives. Send me an e-mail, short or long, I don't mind. I just love hearing how everyones doing. Take care!!! I miss you guys!!!

Oh what fun..

2009-04-19T02:10:00.000-07:00

Well hello there!
I just got back to Cairns from a weeks vacation at a place called Magnetic Island. It was a lovely place, beautiful beaches all around and so green. Truley I am thankful for the opportunity I had to go with the McCulloch family. We (Pip, Fraser, India, Felix, Matilda and I) left on Monday and just got home this evening, Sunday. I was a nice week. The weather was a worry when we first arrived off the ferry but it seemed that it was only gloomy in the mornings and then it cleared up after a while, and that was only for the first couple of days. Monday, our day of arrival we hit the beach in the early evening and then just hung around. Tuesday we went out to the beach for quite a long time and I got quite sunburnt, which ruined the next couple days of beautiful weather for me. To be honest, it ruined wearing clothes and moving. I'm now dealing with the little blisters and pealing, lovely eyyy? NOT! It's all though, I guess I'll take it as a lesson learned. On Thursday we went down to an art gallery and I saw some beautiful paintings that I fell in love with, it's truely amazing the things that people can do with a paintbrush, I was impressed. Just yesterday we went offroading to a little hidden beach, Sunset Bay, and we watched the sunset. It was an increduble sight to see, so peaceful and relaxing. I held Matilda while Pip and Fraser did some adult chatting with friends, I think I had the best time though. I was able to just stand there and take it all in. The sunset is such an incredible thing really, it couldn't get over how beautiful it was. The water around Magnetic Island is so blue and clear, crazy, it made the sunset all the more beauiful. Then this morning I got up and went for a little nature hike and saw rockwallabies and koalas. WOW is all I can say really. Such cool creatures, I was taken away by how wise they look. You really just have to sit and stare and just stare at them because you have to try and make sure you don't miss a thing. I had the opportunity to get really close to three of them; one just sat there, another was sleeping, and then the last one I got to see walking along the ground and jump into a tree. They way they move is remarkable and I was honestly fascinated. I got some really good pictures that I would love to put on here but I'm dumb and I can't do it for some reason. I've been taking pictures with my iPhone and it takes good pictures but it doesn't register with this computer well for some reason, unknown to me.
My favorite part of our trip, besides the animals, would have to be getting to know Inida and Felix. I love being able to connect with them and when I truely feel like they enjoy being around me. There were a few nights this past week that Pip and Fraser went out for dinner with friends, also vacationing on the island, and I stayed home to watch the kiddies. The kids and I watched movies, played carda and told lots of stories. India loves to hear about America and she asks me to tell her stories about all my family, all the time. I enjoy it though, it's nice to be able to make her happy and it gives me a reason to talk about my family and funny things I've done. There a few funny stories that I will tell, I feel bad because the only stories worth telling are all about India. Felix is a wonderful little boy and he is easy to get along with, funny and outgoing as well but India is the one who always ends up leaving an imprint I guess. We were on our way home from the beach on Wednesday and Felix was busting for a toilet so as we pulled into the driveway he yelled out, "Dibs on the toilet!" Then a few seconds later India questioned, "who's dibs?" I was laughing so hard. Calling dibs on something isn't done often in Australia and India had no idea what it meant she thught Felix was saying that Dibs, a man, was on the toilet. It took me a while to get over that one. Aparently Felix had learned it on Cheaper By The Dozen so he thought he would use it. The kids continue to make me laugh daily, as well as they are good at pushing my buttons. I'm getting good at being assertive with them but encouraging at the same time, I'm actually getting to a stage that when I say something it gets done because they respect me, not because their parents will be mad if they don't. It feels nice to know that they will listen to me, their are of course moments when this fails and they do what they want, but even still I'm becoming more of a friend to them as well as a person of power, I guess you could say.
I've been doing quite well here in Cairns, I've been here a month now. Daily I go through the struggles and stages of missing home, thinking of family and friends and wanting nothing but a big bowl of cereal all the time; but at the end of the day I know I will be able to stick it out here until they don't need me anymore. With time I have become stronger and I have gained a lot of understanding. The biggest help to me has been letters from family, for one, and secondly the church. I just love it! I read my scriptures daily and I've been reading Jesus The Christ, which is a great book and I would recommend it to all of you. While I am here I want to do so many more things, be more adventurous, while continuing to strengthen my testimony as I have been doing. Church has been good for me because it's allowed me to make friends and get involved, I've already given a Sunday school lesson. Now I'm meeting other people, friends of Pip and Fraser's, and I'm excited to get out and see more of what Australia has to offer. Next weekend some of their friends are going bunjy jumping and I was asked if I was keen to go. That's something that I would love to do and I hope I get to go, if not it will be okay, I can do it another time but I truely hope I get to. Here you can go skydiving at 12! That seems crazy to me. I just like being able to go out and see things. There is a mountain by the house I'm living in and on it there is a trial called the red arrow. Me and Felix go up it often and I like it a lot. It's a nice exercize, gorgeous scenery, and a beauiful view when you get to the top of the mountain. Last week the family and I had just finished dinner and we were cleaning up while the kids got ready for bed, they eat dinner really late here, when India came out with a very concerned look on her face. I was interested to know what was troubling her but of course when I asked she didn't want to talk to me she just wanted her mom so she ran up to her mom explaining that she didn't want to go to bed because she was afraid of Michael Jackson. She told Pip that she thinks he is scary and she worries that when she goes to sleep he is going to come in her room and take her away. This girl just has some wakcy thoughts, let me tell you. I don't know many kids that are worried about Michael Jackson coming into their room at night, maybe more should be ha, I'm not sure. I just thought it was funny and pretty interesting. India is the type that you either love her or you completely don't want to be around her. It sounds mean but it is the truth. She's a sweet girl but like I've said before she is very strong willed, only 7 years old but she knows what she wants. She tries with all her might to tell her parents what she is going to do all the time and as much as I think it's disrespectful and annoying at times, it amazes me that she is just so set in what she wants. I hope one day that she uses it to her advantage.
I'm doing well and I'm striving always to be a better me. I'm here until I don't feel a reason to be here anymore. The church is true and it's a great feeling to know it. I love all of you!!!!! I'm becoming more and more thankful that I got to live so closely to me wonderful famliy and friends. I miss you dearly and you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Stay safe. I'm making it a goal to write on here a few times a week, I give you permission to tell me off if I don't do so. Again, I love you!

:)

2009-03-31T04:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, Tina was very correct. I miss spelled the babies name in the beginning. Matilda is her name. She is precious.
So for a funny story, well I thought it was funny, I don't know what you all will think. One night Felix, India and I were sitting down for dinner just kind of talking about our days. When it got to India she told us that she has an assembly at school promoting police work. She showed us this sticker she recieved, it had a women on it in a police uniform. Felix asked if there were any stickers given out with boys on it and then things got interesting.. India said that they had all sorts of stickers; ones with policemen, policewomen, car police, moto police, bus police(?), police dogs, and police cats(?)... I couldn't help but laugh. She wondered why I was laughing and I told her it was because I had never heard of a bus police officer or a police cat, then Felix started laughing to. I thought maybe it was something they did in Australia and not in the states but once Felix caught on I knew it was bogus. She tried to play it off like it was the truth for a long time but as she tried to explain she too could not keep a straight face. Then they both started making up crazy sinarios. For example, they thought it would be hilarious if police broke down a door at a drug bust and walked in with a cat on a leash to find out where they were hiding their stashes. The stories got more crazy like police rats and cinchillas.. my stomach was hurting from laughing as I tried to picture these things.
The kids like to watch the worst shows, things I don't even feel good about watching, like South Park and Family Guy. They're very different from me but I know it's going to be a good experience for both sides. They like when I say grace before dinner, pretty good eyy, and they like to hear things about America. I sang them the national anthem the other night, they thought it was funny, and they like to learn words and phrases we say in the states. It's weird to think that people don't know about American history and such, also that people want to learn how to have an American accent. A kid in my branch asked if I could teach him how to talk like me but, to be honest, I have no clue how ha.
I've been learning a lot.... The kids all have their own way of doing things and have such different personalities. It's crazy to have so much going on under one roof. I guess I never really thought that, that is how my own home was. The oldest, Zoe, is very repectful and mature, she listens and tries and be like a second mother to the younger ones. Dancing and cheering are her things, she's a very girly girl, though she likes to be dorky at times. Xavier, I don't think he's really found himself yet. He likes sports a lot and I think once he gets a little older he will be quite the athlete. What's nice about him is that he listens when he is told to do something, my kind of kid. Felix is next in line, he's a character, very energetic always. In Pip's letters to me she said that he was a mover and a groover, that's the only way to put it. Dancing is something that he's very good at, he doesn't know it but he's got good rythem and it's fun to watch him just play around with moves he learns in his hip-hop class. Then comes India, this little lady is quite stubborn. She's sweet when she wants to be but when she wants something, or doesn't want something, she is going to be the last to back down. She gives me the most trouble but I hope to get close to her as time goes on. Her tunnel vision will come in handy in the future, but for now it can be a pain. Last in line is Matilda, she's little and lovely. Most of the day she spends sleeping and smiling.. it's pretty wonderful. She's an easy baby to look after, as long as she's not hungry ha. I like spending time with the kids and I'm excited to learn more about them, as I do, I learn a lot about myself.

My First Week...

2009-03-29T02:55:00.000-07:00

I'll start by naming off the children and telling you about the little set up I've got down here.

Zoe is the oldest she's 13
Xavier 11
Felix 9
India 7
Malida 13 weeks

Every other week the two oldest, Zoe and Xavier, spend a week with their father, Friday-Friday. In the mornings I wake up and help send the kids off to school. Then when Fraser, the father of the younger three, or Pip, the mum, takes the kids to school I help watch Matilda. Most of the the time Fraser takes the kids and Pip gets ready for the day, does her work, and or goes to meetings (though she can't stay away too long cause Tilly isn't taking formula). Around 2:45 Pip goes and gets the kids, I get a little free time and once they arrive back home I sit the kids down and make sure they get their homework done. It's a nice routine and I think it helps because then there's no question as to what I need to do with the kids.
I like it here a lot. It's a beautiful place, very green and tropical. The weather is fairly close to San Diego weather. When I first arrived I was worried because it was very hot and humid but after just a couple of days it cooled down, which I am very thankful for. I still sweat a lot and where ever you go there is as least one fan in every room still, it's nicer then when I first got here. The family I am staying with, and working for, is very nice and they have done an excellent job with making me feel comfortable. The first fews days I had a horrible time getting use to the time change, its a shock to know its 2 in the afternoon but have your body start to get tired cause it's really 9 at night, the day before ha. It still amzes me sometimes when I think about it but I am getting a lot better. I arrived last Friday around 10 in the morning and I ended up going to sleep at 3 in the afternoon :) I slept until 10 at night but once I look at the clock I didn't know what to do, it was too late for anyone to be up but I knew that for everyone else the night had just begun, so I went back to sleep until 3 am, stayed awake until 5, then slept until 7. It was an eventful first night. The next day I got better, only by a few hours though, I went to bed at 6! The next day was Sunday, which I was thankful for, and I went to the Cairns 1st Branch. There I met many nice people who were all very inviting and showed me nothing but kindness. It is there that I felt, and feel, at home. In my Sunday school class I was told that most YSA meet in the second branch but I get lucky cause a girl my age, Denise, was there, on account that she couldn't make to the second branch, and she invited me to an FHE activity at her house that night. I loved it! I got to meet most all the members my age and got to talk with the elders, that are quite amazing, three of the four are from the states, pretty cool eyy? One of them is actually from the LA area, his name is Elder Hate. Anyways, I enjoyed being a part of their little group and was invited and told about other activities going on. I went to institute on Wednesday night at the church and then on Friday I went to sports night. Coming here has already been an amazing experience for me and I'm grateful for this opportunity :)
I'm going to get to bed for tonight, I have to be up early tomorrow morning, but I will keep this updated, tell you some funny stories and I will try with all my might to upload some pictures.

I love you ALL so much! It's hard to be away but I know this is only for my good. I hope all is going well.. I miss you guys!